Read on. Below are some fitness alternatives, that don't suck. These classes celebrate diversity and a 'come as you are' attitude.
1.
Derby FitEllen Page and Drew Barrymore put Roller Derby into focus with 'whip it' and the WestSide Derby Dollz of the Victorian Roller Derby League are now offering
fitness classes, where the violent aspects of the sport are removed and skills are honed and technique explained. Learn stops, jumps, speed and how to fall without injuring yourself in these social classes based in Laverton. It's derby, but without the scary bits!

Image from WestSide Derby Dollz
Hula Hoop and Hoop Dance
Based in Nth Fitzroy, this hula hoop class is more like a fun night out than a fitness class. Al teachers are performers and will take you from beginner to pro levels. Don't be fooled by the floaty title, this class is a serious workout for your abs!
3. Yoga for Rockers
Amazing! This class follows the 'Vinyasa flow' style of yoga however is set to a mixtape of epic rock ballads. Great for those who want to gain the benefits of yoga, but without the crystals and patchouli.Held at 307 Sydney Rd, Brunswick (near the corner od Dawson St), this class is part of the Alternative Women's Fitness program.

Ambrika is your trainer for Yoga for Rockers - image from Women's Alternative Fitness Website
Miss Smash Dance
Also a part of Alternative Women's Fitness, Miss Smash Dance is a melting pot of dancestyles and music. The trainer, Sarah, has spent living and training in Africa, New York and Cuba – so expect all that mixed up with some garage/punk/rock tunes. This is a really fun class that gets you moving and shaking. You don't even have time to think about what you might look like, you'll be too busy loving the class!
5.
No Lights No LyrcaThis global phenomenon surely hit on something for a lot of people who wanted to shake their tail-feather in a fit and fun way, but not look like a Sunday cyclist while doing so. These classes are also drug and alcohol free, the theory is that you dance independently, not with a partner or for anyone else, and loose yourself in the moment. Held in a variety of locations across Melbourne, Australia and the globe, head to the
No Lights No Lycra Website for a session close to you.
6.
Go-Go Dancing!
Anna's Go-Go Academy is almost as famous as Anna herself. A winning lady with a big personality and even bigger hair, Anna transport you to another time and reignite your love for all things go-go. The classes cover historic and modern fad dances including the Charleston, Watusi, Hustle and even Thriller!
7.
Dancehall
If you're not sure what
dancehall is, I would certainly recommend goggling it before you attend this class. This is one booty poppin', booty shakin' and booty makin' dance style. Not for the faint of heart, dancehall originated in Jamaica as a response to the corresponding dancehall music. Never has having a bad attitude been encouraged so openly in a dance class. A lot of fun, but certainly hard work.

Image from Fusion Dance and Lifestyle Stuios facebook page
8.
Muy Thai Boxing
Muy Thai is serious when done professionally, however this is a
fitness class that pull the key elements of the full-contact combat sport. Using every part of your body, you will discover muscles that you did not know existed! This is held in a traditional gym setting however is a lot more extreme that your usual boxercise class.
9.
Circus Training
The
Women's Circus in Footscray is a wonderful institution of learning, support and fitness. All new members start with the New Women program, which lasts for 9 weeks and is great for developing upper-body strength and cardiovascular fitness, as well as teaching you the basics of circus skills, balance and control. There is also an emphasis on self-growth in these classes and a very strong feminist approach to fitness.