Subscribe      List an Event or Business      Invite a Writer      Write for WN      Writers      Other Locations
1 million Australian readers every month      list your event

What Does Your Beer Choice Say About You?

Home > Victoria > Pubs | Misc | Breweries | Questions
Your Answer
share your local knowledge
Writer's Answer:
by Clay Steele (subscribe)
Nutritionist & Life Coach Meeting all requirements to call myself so (i.e. none)
Published August 31st 2012
Society is full of people making summary judgements on individuals that lack depth, refinement and show a general lack of character from the person making these grossly unjust generalisations. In that spirit I am about to make some grossly unjust generalisations about people simply from the beer that they drink. I hope you enjoy this tongue-in-cheek take on what your beverage choice says about you.

Fancy Beer
Fancy beer image available thanks to Wikipedia

Carlton Draught
It's what was on tap. Pff, conformist.

You got it any old how. You believe that waxing is for surfboards and sheilas, Bob Hawke should still be PM and drink driving offences should be settled by rock-paper-scissors, best two-out-of-three; certainly not by breathalisers.

James Squire Chancer
You think "Chancer" sounds way cooler than "Golden Ale".

You are a deep thinker, standing at the bar waiting for your pint o' the dark stuff to settle allows you time to contemplate the deeper things in life. Things like "do I have enough money left for another round?"

Carlton Pure Blonde/James Boag Classic Blonde/Hahn Super Dry/Etc
You just bought a gym membership and have been to spin class three times this week. In a couple of months you'll struggle to remember what the $34 being deducted from your account each fortnight is actually for.

Coopers Pale Ale
You have honey in your green tea and wish that was still for free.

You are prone to beginning sentences with "I'm not racist but…"

You just bought shares in citrus fruit.

White Rabbit Dark Ale
You like to try new things and will take a risk. Now put your car keys in the bowl and trust me.

Antarctic Ale
You just got a pay rise.

Crown Lager
You just got a pay rise and are a patriot. A true patriot that is: someone who knows the words to Waltzing Matilda but not the national anthem.

Light Beer
You lost your tastebuds in a nasty cheese grater incident some years ago. Possibly you intend driving somewhere soon.

Help us improve  Click here if you liked this article  13
Share: email  facebook  twitter

More Melbourne articles
Articles from other cities
Popular Articles