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What Not to Say to Your Partner This Valentine's Day
A freelance writer living, working and mostly playing in Brisbane and wherever the action is.
Published February 1st 2015
Ensure romance not ruin by avoiding these faux pas
For a day of love and romance, Valentine's Day can be fraught with danger. Ensure your Valentine's Day is a special one (in a good way) by avoiding these faux pas.
Avoid Valentine's Day disaster
1. Which pub are we going to for dinner tonight?
Ask and you're going nowhere but the doghouse.
2. Valentine's Day is too commercial. I choose not to acknowledge its existence.
Good chance she'll refuse to acknowledge grand final day or buck's nights in the future.
3. Is it cool with you if we double date with Simmo, Smithy and Potsy for dinner?
Leave your loser single mates out of it.
4. I'm keen to get on the beers tonight. You can be designated driver.
Lay off the drink for one night booze hound.
5. I'll have the garlic prawns with extra garlic thanks.
Oysters are an aphrodisiac, garlic breath is not.
6. I ordered you flowers this morning but they reckoned they were pretty busy and won't be delivered until next week.
7. I don't need some day on the calendar to tell me when to treat my lady right.
Actually, you probably do.
8. Why are you getting dessert? What happened to your New Year's Resolution?
9. We need to talk. It's not you, it's me.
The day before or after, just not on Feb 14.
10. Will the restaurant mind if I take my own protein shake for dinner?
Easy Arnie, relax the regime.
Mind your manners or risk a war of the roses
1. Sorry babe, I have a headache.
2. You don't mind if we spend Valentine's Day with my mum do you?
For High Tea presumably.
3. Does my bum look big in this?
Don't ask the question if you can't handle the answer.
4. I really want you to come out with me and my single girlfriends tonight.
Listening to women bag blokes sounds perfect.
5. The celebrity chef said this restaurant is the best and it's not that expensive.
Should be able to pay off the bill by refinancing house.
6. We should spend the day shopping, you could really do with a new outfit for dinner.
7. If you really love me, shave off that hipster beard for Valentine's Day
. Any sentence starting with IYRLM is no go territory.
8. All my Facebook friends are doing something better than us.
It's likely your Facebook friends are better liars.
9. Why can't you be more romantic?
Be honest, did you make any effort to be romantic?
10. I think I'll just watch The Notebook then go to bed.
The ultimate sleeping pill for your man.
Save it for a night with the girls
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