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The Watch - Film Review

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by Chrystal Byrne (subscribe)
Freelance writer living on Brisbane's north side. Studied creative industries - currently studying library and information services.
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The Watch (2012), directed by Akiva Schaffer and starring funny-men Ben Stiller, Vince Vaughn, Jonah Hill and Richard Ayoade, is a comedy science-fiction movie about four guys who start a neighbourhood watch program and end up defending the earth from an alien invasion.

Evan Trautwig (Stiller) is an active participant within the small-town community of Glenview, Ohio. He's the founder of the Glenview running club, the Glenview Spanish club and is the manager of his own Costco, a job that he enjoys. Evan is a do-gooder and lives an ordinary happy life, until one night when his world is turned upside-down by the brutal murder of Costco's night security guard, his friend Antonio.

The local police force don't seem to be doing anything about Antonio's murder, in fact, they seem to be treating Evan himself as the prime suspect. With justice being kicked to the curb, Evan decides to form his own Neighborhood Watch. Enter Bob (Vaughn), Franklin (Hill) and Jamarcus (Ayoade).

Bob is a family guy who wants all the new gadgets for his man-cave, and some friends to go with it. Franklin is a high-school dropout who wants to be a policeman, but failed the written, physical and mental exams. Jamarcus is a happily divorced British chap, who's looking for a sweet Asian woman to suck on his balls. With this rag-tag trio in tow, Evan sets out to find Antonio's murderer.

The Watch
The Watch: Stiller, Vaughn, Hill and Ayoade.


With the appearance of silver orbs that blow shit up and green slime that feels like cum, the watch start to realise that they might not be dealing with any ordinary murderer. This hypothesis is confirmed when Evan and Jamarcus capture an alien, right after it kills a citizen of Glenview. But whilst this is all happening, the guys are also learning to deal with their own personal problems.

Evan has grown distant from his wife Abby, who desperately wants children. Evan loves her and wants children as well, but has discovered that he's sterile and hasn't told her. Bob is trying hard to protect his teenage daughter Chelsea, even following her to a party just in time to rip her pushy boyfriend, Jason, off of her. Franklin just wants to fit in, be cool and show the cops up and Jamarcus, well (spoiler alert) he's an alien.

Jamarcus reveals that Evan's own Costco is the base of the aliens' plan to invade and take over the earth. Jamarcus claims that he has sided, per se, with the humans after learning of their compassionate natures and getting his balls sucked by a sweet Asian woman. The team head over to Costco with Abby in tow and when they arrive chaos ensues.

Bob and Jason (yes, Chelsea's now ex-boyfriend) have a stand-off that ends when Bob rips Jason's dick off (oh, he's an alien too) and Jamarcus shows that he's pretty smooth with a gun (which is amazing if you've seen Ayoade as Moss in the BBC series IT Crowd). Costco is blown up, alien heads and extra-large condoms are flying through the air but the aliens are dead, except Jamarcus of course who is one of the good guys.

The Watch
Blowing shit up

I really enjoyed The Watch. The actors seemed to click, the jokes were actually funny (in my opinion anyway) and I really did delight in seeing Richard Ayoade double-arm himself in slow motion. If you're just after a laugh and nothing too serious go and see this movie. It's a winner.

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Why? Because you want to see The Watch.
When: From the 13th of September
Where: In cinemas near you.
Cost: An adult ticket from Event Cinemas is usually $16.50
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