They should start issuing arrest warrants for being single now, especially since public heckling of the single woman has become an acceptable process. Miss Manners deemed it inappropriate to poke fun at overweight people, the mentally challenged, physically handicapped, and even smokers so everybody decided to give it a go at single women. We are, after all, easy targets – alone, susceptible to depression with the tendency to lead slightly "unorthodox" lifestyles. Who could blame us? Unburdened by the pressure of screaming children, mounting bills, irresponsible spouses and the regrettable series of "what ifs", as a bulls-eye we are rather appealing.
Myth 1: Every single woman chooses to be single
Burned at the stake for being single, I try to explain to friends and family alike that this is not a "lifestyle choice". "Darling, this is so unhealthy and unnecessary. Please fall in love, or let us find you somebody to spend the rest of your life with," my mother laments at the breakfast table every morning while twisting her wedding ring. My parents have been in union for twenty seven years.
According to them, I am reaching my expiry date. Emile Durkheim's Social Construction of Reality mentioned how basic reciprocal roles become habitualized and institutionalized over the period of time, which he aptly termed "social constructionism". I suppose this -ism might be able to explain how and how couples tend to view the single individual. With coupling up, a certain sense of conformity, stability and certainty settles in, and the "single" is perceived as the polar opposite, or the mysterious "other".
This leads me to the inexcusable assumption that the single woman is easily promiscuous and lacks the appropriate morals to maintain a steady relationship. A "How are you?" to an old friend who was recently engaged to be married warranted a "How are all the men, wink wink. Tell me your sexy stories," followed by unnecessary giggles. This left me not only offended, but slightly shaken. I live by the adage, 'A person is only exceeded by their reputation', and this was definitely not good news.
More on my alleged sexed up behavior, according to another source is if I were to ever to star in any movie, it would be titled, "Ketki's Sex and the City". Even better, now I feel like a real movie celebrity who is getting to star in her very own pornographic blockbuster. "Hitting Adult Film Stores near you!"
I truly am astonished with the general assumption of the single woman's promiscuity. Perhaps popular media such as Sex and the City has been a major contributing factor towards creating these negative preconceived notions, but are people seriously too daft to distinguish between television and reality? Hey, not every woman can be the man Samantha is.
Embrace your singledom
I say we stick it to those busybodies who have persecuted us for decades and celebrate being single exactly like the Sex and the City girls. Why shirk into the shadows when you can flaunt it instead?
Fact one: Single people have more fun
Single people DO have more fun. With no partner restrictions, you are free to do anything you like. Have you been buggered into going for your second cousin's brother in law's sister's wedding where you will only be scrutinized further and then set up on equally horrid blind dates? Then don't go.
Instead, treat yourself to a day by getting on a helicopter and touring around Sydney Harbor while enjoying the view, followed by a luxurious lunch buffet at the Sydney Tower Restaurant. In the evening, grab your single girlfriends and head over to the Taronga Zoo for a 'Roar and Snore' sleepover, where you can sleep in chic tents while overlooking the Sydney Harbor on one side, and lions on the other.
Fact two: Life can be like Sex and the City
Live like a Sex and the City girl. Do the shopping, martinis, and parties. After all, Sydney is a very sexy city. Head to King St at Newtown which is home to some of the edgiest fashion in the city. If you feel like being surrounded by the familiar faces of high fashion, spend the day at the Queen Victoria Building or Skygarden that feature top notch Australian and international labels.
After shopping, hit the Establishment Bar or The Loft for some cosmopolitans with your single girlfriends, and party the night away at Stonewall on Oxford Street, that features some of the best drag shows in town.
Stand up for yourself
The next time an annoying aunt asks you why you are still single, flash her your winning smile and tell her off in typical Samantha Jones style, "None of your f&*^@#) business!" Then storm off in those Louboutins.
This is the single most useless and vapid article I have yet come across in Weekend Notes. Please, spare us the guilty ramblings and contradictory excuses. You're single. Enjoy. If you're not, enjoy. Your myths don't exist. Some people are single at 20,30,40,60, etc. Some people aren't. Some people choose it. Some don't. Advising people to go to the QVB and Establishment. Fine, but one could write the same insights if they lived in Cleveland, Ohio and had an internet connection. Please. You can do better.
By emmet - reader Friday, 31st of December @ 01:11 am
as a fellow singleton/quirckyalone/whatever we're being called now, I can honestly say I'm surprised by some of the comments you've gotten.
I prefer the single life, and I've never had any of my friends or family make any such comments.
However, if anyone ever does ask me why I'm not married, I'm planning to reply with "because spending the rest of my life with only one man sounds deadly boring". :)
By metal4 - reader Sunday, 2nd of January @ 04:59 am
@Emmet, Don't worry, I enjoy plenty! =)
@metal4, My family is a little traditional, maybe that's why I get those comments. I've learnt to grin and bear it when I'm around them. However, I am a bit of a romantic and I do dream of my knight in shining armor. Sounds cheesy, but it's true!
By Ketki - senior reviewer Tuesday, 4th of January @ 11:44 am
metal4, I love your answer! Can I just say, as someone who has been married 19years, separated for 2 years, then reunited for another 4,and now not too sure I made the right decision. I think its important to enjoy whatever life brings.I heard some statistic recently that 95% of married women aren't sure they married the right one. Its never easy to negotiate relationships
By suzie2 - reader Thursday, 13th of January @ 02:59 am
I think it's important not to settle for less than what you are hoping for. Work out what your values are in life and don't settle for less.
Investing your life, time and soul in a relationship just for the sake of not being alone (or pleasing the people who think that you shouldn't be alone), you are selling yourself short, and you are missing out on the "real thing" which is out there for ALL for us, and all about love, honour and a blissfully shared life...as a reward for a whole lot of hard work. :-P
By chick2 - reader Saturday, 15th of January @ 12:21 am
I tell people men are easy - relationships are hard - and i think it matters who you marry and i simply havent met a man that matters. i WAS samantha when i was younger... ya know what i wish - i wish i had had MORE sex LOL my mother etc did their best to make me feel i was doing the wrong thing - now i realise any energy spent wondering and being anxious about it was TIME WASTED! i was briefly married to the WRONG man - and the marriage wasnt worth it. now i'm older, arthritis in the kness and back slows down the sex abilities.... shoulda had MORE sex LOL and ya know what - my mother has changed her tune as well that maybe i was right! i would marry if i found "him" but so far... better being single :)
By Audrey - senior reviewer Monday, 17th of January @ 04:54 am