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Ted - Film Review

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by Alexander Dermer (subscribe)
Alex is a freelance writer, retail worker, short film maker, an avid lover of The Arts and always willing to explore.
Published July 24th 2012
It's the same as before, except this time Seth McFarlane is feeding us the same fertiliser, on the big screen.

[ADVERT]As a young boy John Bennett, as much as he tried, could never make any friends. However that all changes on one Christmas morning when John receives a very special stuffed bear, a bear that he decides to name Ted. John loves Ted so much that on Christmas night he wishes for his bear to come to life. Guess what happens the next morning.

At the age thirty-five John is still best friends with Ted, drinking beer, smoking pot and enjoying the fruits of life. All is well for the duo, until John's girlfriend decides to intervene.

For someone who is neither a fan of American Dad, The Cleveland Show or much of Family Guy after season 3, I was surprisingly still looking forward to seeing Ted. Since I first saw the trailer, I was more than eager to experience Seth McFarlane's first and, hopefully, successful adjustment to cinema. Other than the decent trailer, one of the main reasons I was ambitious to see this, are from the countless people saying, Ted caters greatly even to those who don't appreciate his former work. After almost two hours of over dwelling disappointment, I walked out of the cinemas happy; one reason being that I never have to see this film again, and the other leaving me more appreciative of Family Guy.

To bring this review on a slightly higher note, I'll start by explaining Ted's rewarding aspects. From a technical stand point Ted was rather well done, particularly the camera work during the film's few fight scenes. That being said, it was really Ted's rare moments of decent humour that stopped me from walking out the cinema - that, and the fact I probably wouldn't have gotten my money back.

Arguably the best scene in the entire film is The Thunder Song, a scene however that was somewhat tainted, along with a few other good moments that were featured in the trailer (a trailer that I have now seen enough to last me a lifetime). Other humorous aspects include a cameo by Sam J. Jones, (from the 1980 Flash Gordon film) and a moment whilst Ted is tied up in a bag and kidnapped, remarks on how funny it must look, to see the "fat kid running".

Besides those few tolerable points, Ted is an absolutely appalling piece of cinema. In regards to the acting, you know your film is bad when by far Mila Kunis and Sam J. Jones provide the strongest performances. Mark Wahlberg, who is often an half assed actor at his best, often slips in and out of this annoying almost style New Yorker accent. Seth Macfarlane obviously couldn't decide whether Ted's voice would ride on the coattails on either Peter or Brian Griffin, so he constantly switches between both. Neither of these two actors clearly had any idea of what they were doing.

Another glaring issue of Ted is the story. The plot is insanely predictable (even for its genre), and more than often longwinded. Seth Macfarlane's Ted is crude, pretentious, loud, obnoxious, offensive, and stupid, which would have been fine if it was funny more than 1% of the time. That being said, if you like Horrible Bosses or The Hangover 2, you'll probably love this.


OFLC (Office of Film and Literature Classification) rating:

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Why? If you're a fan of films similar to The Hangover 2 and Horrible Bosses
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