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Ted - Film Review

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Published September 29th 2013

It was only a matter of time before Seth MacFarlane released a film. His style of biting satire on everything from films, topical issues, political persuasion, and social norms is perfect for the cinema.

Ted takes the best jokes from Family Guy and puts them in a live action setting. Ted is a CGI talking teddy bear voiced by MacFarlane. He is crude, uncompromising and laddish. A celebrity in this fictional world due to the fact that... well, he is a talking teddy bear for one, brought to life by the Christmas wish (echoing a children's Disney movie) of his life long pal John Bennett (Mark Wahlberg) when he was a lonely eight year old boy.

John now lives with his girlfriend Lori (Mila Kunis) and Ted in a New York apartment, and finds it very hard to maintain life between his best buddy/bear and his beloved. This causes friction between the two rivals for his affections and eventually Ted is forced to move out.

However John still sneaks in occasional visits to Ted after being deliberately manipulated to do so by the crafty teddy bear, and when Lori gets suspicious this causes their relationship to fall apart. Lori is pining for John's hand in marriage and so wants John to act his age instead of playing with his childhood toy. An interesting premise indeed!

The two are reunited by Ted's sudden disappearance at the hands of a very disturbed (and funny) father and son team who want Ted all for themselves.

A major reason I would recommend this movie is that it is narrated by the Shakespearean and Star Trek legend Sir Patrick Stewart who lends his fantastic voice to a torrid of ridiculously quotable lines that go on tangents from the plot and most of the time are only put in place as a parody of your quintessential movie narration/framing devices.


This movie is definitely a testament to MacFarlane's genius. It is littered with visual pop culture references, most notably the tacky 1980's film Flash Gordon, and the sitcom Cheers. Also watch out for Wahlberg's terrible cover of the Octopussy theme tune All Time High by Rita Coolidge during a Norah Jones concert.

Its' crudeness will not suit all, and please don't be fooled in thinking this is a family movie unless you want your child to see a teddy bear miming fellatio. A definite 16 and over film, one I would recommend if you have a broad sense of humour!
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