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Surviving a Breakup: the Melbourne Edition

Home > Melbourne > Walks | Singles and Dating | Self Help | Personal Development | Outdoor
by Lucinda Barty (subscribe)
After growing up on a 7000 acre sheep property, adapting to the fast-paced Melbourne was a drastic but liberating change! Now a media-communications graduate, editor and journalist, I'm eager to share my return to a beautiful life in the country.
Published March 22nd 2014
In the wake of a break-up it's natural to be sad, but when you live in a city as lively and interesting as Melbourne, it's wise to set aside a short time to be sad (one Cadbury family block limit?) then start to focus on all the new challenges and opportunities available to you. Longing for things we feel we've lost often leads us to seek them out, albeit in different forms. Going to the cinema becomes watching The Vow alone on your couch, 'eating out' becomes 'eating out of a takeaway container' and your concept of 'spooning' shifts to 'eating peanut butter straight off the spoon'. Falling into the trap of pining for who and what you miss, however, leaves you feeling incomplete –unable to recognise what it was that once made you (and only you) happy.

Melbourne is a city vibrant with activity and opportunity, the ultimate home-base for anyone staging a 'breakover' (a post breakup makeover). Whilst improving yourself physically may come to mind, ultimately it is your own mental well-being and confidence about to be rejuvenated. Now is your chance to try that class you had thought about, go to that gig, meet new people and discover the likeable person you really are.

In the initial stages of any breakup, overthinking and getting down on yourself is inevitable but this negative energy can certainly be used for positive change. Exercise is just as good for you mentally as it is physically and provides and excellent opportunity to get out and appreciate the beauty of Melbourne's parks and gardens and natural landmarks.

Yarra River
Where the city meets nature on the Yarra River

Getting out into nature is a proven mood enhancer and convenient distraction - it's much harder to speculate as to whether it was your snoring, fourteen daily coffee photos via instagram or overuse of the term "hashtag" that ended your relationship when you're pounding the pavement.

Carlton Gardens
Carlton Gardens -get fit without realising

Carlton Gardens, Princess Park, Royal Park and the Royal Botanic Gardens are but a small selection of Melbourne's myriad public gardens. Being located close to the CBD and shopping strips such as Lygon St, means retail.therapy is never far away should your soul-searching turn to 'sole-searching' in the pursuit of new heels (hey, distraction is distraction right?) and treating yourself is a crucial element in any 'breakover'.

Whilst opening your wallet for the sake of your physical confidence may help you feel better in the short term, however, your newly-single status is just the ticket you need to start investing more in your emotional well-being, developing your talents and improving your self-confidence. Why not learn the art of burlesque dance in one of many studios throughout the city and perfect that strut you've always wanted to take to the streets. Get your hands dirty (or in this instance, chalky) and take up rock-climbing for fun, fitness and personal achievement. Hard Rock climbing centre on Swanston Street, for example provides equipment hire and lessons to get you started -great if you don't want commitment... (too soon?).

Hard Rock CBD
learn new skills at Hard Rock rock climbing centre

A good group of supportive friends should certainly be part of your post break-up arsenal but it is important you avoid all things even slightly 'couply' -particularly the odd social practice of accompanying an actual couple during any type of planned activity. Commonly known as 'third-wheeling', this awkward attempt at replacing your own relationship by inviting yourself into someone else's isn't going to help your self development and could even be the gateway step to acquiring 17 (or more) cats as time passes.

Recruiting friends with similar interests to take courses or classes with you is an excellent way to nurture your own unique talents in the absence of your previously significant other and can grow your confidence and self-fulfilment. Instead of heading to he nearest bar or club and erasing not only memories but brain cells, why not extend your abilities the hangover-free way? Drowning your sorrows, pinot bottle in hand, may seem like an excellent idea at first but you will likely wake up with texts on your phone you can't remember sending and stamps on your wrist from bars and club you've no recollection of.

hobbies, drawing
nurture your talents, grow your interests

Similarly, postpone trips to the movies where the only self-development achieved will be improving your long-distance aim as you catapult popcorn at loved up couples. Once you learn to love and look after yourself again you can certainly reincorporate such activities. Have coffee with friends or people watch at a cafe on your own -Melbourne is famous for it's cafe culture with places such as Seven Seeds in Parkville and Carlton's Campos Coffee ideal places to sit down and contemplate what you have learned from your past relationship and all the ways you can continue to grow as a person, with or without a relationship, in the future.

Don't replace feelings of love with hate, wasting your time and energy questioning what might have been when you can't change it. Instead have faith that something great can come along when you're ready for it -in the meantime you are entitled to listen to Beyonce's 'Single Ladies' and "Put your hands up" with pride!

How did you make the most of all Melbourne has to offer in the wake of a break-up and how did you ensure you emerge a happier and more confident person?

disclaimer *
If, painful as it is, you are not ready to surrender your right to wallow in self pity, listen to 'How to Love' by the great 21st century Philosopher Lil Wayne and read the article again. Disregard the rule about owning multiple cats and head to the nearest pet shop (there's a great one on the lower level of Melbourne Central shopping centre) where rabbits and puppies are just as likely to steal your attention until you decide to try some of the above suggestions.

pet shop

How did you make the most of all Melbourne has to offer in the wake of a break-up and how did you ensure you emerge a happier and more confident person?
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