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Shark Exorcist - Film Review

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by Jennifer Muirhead (subscribe)
I am learning all the time. The tombstone will be my diploma. ~ Eartha Kitt
Published January 25th 2023
We're gonna need a bigger cross

An angry nun summons the devil to possess a shark. Chaos ensues. Shark Exorcist (2015) was written and directed by Donald Farmer, whose previous work includes Catnado and Hooker With a Hacksaw. It stars Angela Kerecz as Ali, a young woman who becomes posessed by the evil shark, and her husband Bobby Kerecz as Father Michael, a priest called in to exorcise the demon.

shark exorcist, shark movie, scary movie, monster movie, stupid movie, Tubi
The evil nun, doing evil nun stuff.

You might think Sharktopus was a bad movie, but this is on a whole other level. The budget is obviously tiny, the acting is awful, and the writing is hopefully deliberately bad, sometimes hilariously so. The fact that the shark is in a lake instead of the ocean is the least ridiculous thing about this movie.

The demon shark is purely CGI, without so much as a plastic fin for the the actors to react to. You never see it actually attack anyone. The characters just thrash around in the water and/or die off screen as we watch other characters respond to this. The evil nun stabs people in such a tight close up that you can't see what is happening.

It's quite a bit more exploitative than Sharktopus. Lots of women in bikinis are to be expected in a shark movie, but this movie takes it further with scenes that look as though the actors thought they were on a porn shoot. There is however, no actual nudity, which just made those scenes really weird.

sharktopus, shark movie, shark film, monster movie, Syfy channel, silly shark movies, Eric Roberts
This actress is making the same face as I was by this point in the movie.

Since they couldn't afford to record sound during outdoor shoots there are long sequences of characters just miming things to a spooky soundtrack, giving me flashbacks to politely watching some ambitiously arty student films at university. There is even an infuriatingly pointless post credits sequence in which we watch a woman admire and touch toy sharks in an aquarium bookshop for five straight minutes. Eat your heart out, Michael Haneke!

I'm a bit confused as to what actually happened plot-wise since there were subplots that went nowhere, weird smash cuts and it was sometimes hard to tell some of the characters apart, but I don't suppose it really matters.

The dialogue cracked me up at times. My favourite part of this exchange between two characters:

Bikini girl 1: You're not the world's best listener.

Bikini girl 2: I am a good listener!

Bikini girl 1: Um, then, close your eyes... What colour is my swimsuit?

Listening with your eyes is an important skill.

My main beef with this movie was that it does not do what it says on the tin. From the title, I wanted to see either somebody exorcising a shark, or even better, a shark performing an exorcism. Neither of those things happens, which would make me feel ripped off if I hadn't watched it for free.

Shark Exorcist had enough going on that I kept watching until the end, but I would only recommend it if you truly enjoy watching bad movies. It is currently streaming on Tubi.

Content Warning:

Vomit - Several characters vomit, and at one point a woman does this right into another woman's face.

Voyeurism- There is one scene I found genuinely unsettling, which seemed to belong in a different movie, in which a man crept up to a sleeping woman and took pictures of her while breathing heavily.

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