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Sassi Cafe

Home > Melbourne > Restaurants | Coffee | Cafes | Breakfast
by Clay Steele (subscribe)
Insouciant bon-vivant and erstwhile troubadour prone to verbose verbiage.
Published February 22nd 2013
Big Breakfast on your terms
To a man, the word "big" is like sugar to an ant: we simply cannot resist hearing it and desire more, always more. We all enjoy Tom Hanks early comedy stylings in Big, we read again and again Monty Python's Big Red Book, with pride we recount how our doctor told us that our goitre was "the biggest she's ever seen" and on a Sunday morning we enjoy tucking into a big breakfast. Often this is the only chance we have of hearing our companion from the previous evening utter the words "oh my god, it's so big".
Sassi Ext
Sassi from Outside

Thus I bypassed Sassi's $11.95 breakfast and coffee special for the validation that only a BIG breakfast could provide. For the first time I took my laptop with me to write a WN review as it was occurring.

Given this was typed as the meal progressed should it actually be called a "view" rather than a "review"? Should I be writing this in the present tense? But then I may slip into a hackneyed second person 'Bride Stripped Bare' rip off.

You order the big breakfast. Eggs cooked how you like with your choice of three sides. You appreciate that this restaurant lets you eat breakfast on your terms. They do not dictate what the big breakfast should be. You are distracted from your reverie by the conversation at the next table between a late twenties Spanish virgin and the sexually frustrated archaeologist's wife. Ahem, sorry. I knew that would happen.
Sassi Big Bfast II
Big Breakast the way you want

I must say that Sassi looks a bit fast-food from the outside however they are right up to the standard of some of the other fine cafes around the area. Homemade baked beans, organic free-range bacon and a mean espresso all bear testament to the quality of the fare. The price tag is also pleasingly lower than some of the others. With only the three sides, the breakfast may not sound like it will be as big as their competitors. I can assure you though (and have photographic evidence of such) that adding the homemade baked beans as one of your selections certainly counteracts any problems regarding the portion size.
Sassi Big Bfast
Big Beans

Sassi's décor eschews the bohemian chic so popular these days and instead goes for a more symmetrical look. Booths at the back provide the opportunity to impersonate Ringo and Honey-Bunny from Pulp Fiction while bright red walls adorned by original oil paintings and smatterings of polished chrome complete the chic ambience.
Sassi Painting
You`re no oil painting first thing in the morning... oh wait

All-in-all the big breakfast experience at Sassi is a good one. Unpretentious grub cooked well, quick and friendly service and a vast collection of morning newspapers provide everything one could ask for. If only that twit with the laptop would stop harassing that lovely young couple at the next table.
Sassi Coffees
Try not to feel inadequate short black, I`m sure you have a lovely personality
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Why? Big is beautiful
Phone: 83/79 Douglas Parade Williamstown VIC 3016
Where: Douglas Pde, Williamstown
Cost: Reasonable
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