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Rucker's Hill Cafe

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by AJTaco (subscribe)
Aidan 'Taco' Jones is a comedian and writer based in Melbourne Australia, he likes most types of cheese and often throws tantrums. To read his blog and find him doing comedy hit up ajtaco.blogspot.com Twitter: @aj_taco Facebook: facebook.com/ajtaco
Published April 5th 2014
Bring the Ruckers

When I walked into Rucker's Hill Cafe one Wednesday morning at eleven in the morning I was lost. A friend and I had just come from a rather inconsequential meeting where I spoke at length about nothing and he stayed quiet, silenced by morning stupor. As we blundered down Northcote High Street with the vague directive of "there's food over that way", we chanced upon this stylish little spot and wandered in.

A wizard guards the entrance
A wizard guards the entrance

From the moment we sat down the ambience was striking, I think? The low-key music playing in the background was barely noticeable, but just noticeable enough that I noticed myself grooving along in a quiet moment. On the exterior, painted designs and a flaking wizard adorn the brickwork while inside a decrepit piano sits in the corner. I played it, and I sucked.

Rucker's Hill Cafe Piano
I really stank up the place with my piano playing

The food which really is the crucial part of any meal was outstanding. I had the caramelised onion and my friend had the smashed avocado. Both were fantastic. Upon returning for a second time a few weeks after my first visit I tried the ajvar, which was also very nice despite my failure to pronounce it correctly. Your move, The Internet - try it, I dare you.


The owner, Igor, is an absolute champion. He gave us a free muffin after it became clear that we would be hanging around for longer than the obligatory half-hour. He grinned back at me after I slinked away from the piano having just displayed my wilting prowess on the instrument, and just as any good host should, he didn't point out that the piano, whose keys rang out at strange, broken notes upon playing, was predominantly decorative.

Rucker's Hill Cafe Window Display
Whatever this is, I'm into it

Rucker's Hill Cafe should be busier than it is, and maybe that is the greatest aspect of it's charm; both times I have visited and sat at a table next to one of the windows that look out onto High Street for hours on end, every now and then peeking out of my own head to take a look around me, and both times my surrounds have remained silent. Maybe there are just so many other cafes around the crowded hipster paradise of Northcote, but next time I find myself lost and afraid on those mean northern streets, I will definitely be heading to Rucker's Hill Cafe to say hi to Igor as I work my way through their all-day breakfast menu. This time though, it won't be an accident.
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Phone: (03) 9482 3998
Where: 212 High Street, Northcote
Cost: $10-$25
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