Words of love are boring except to the one who is in love. So for all you moonstruck, doe eyed and weak at the knees luvers out there, this is some advice to boost your romantic acumen. Guys may want to pay close attention because nothing is more of a turn on to the more feminine partner than physical or visual statements of affection. I saw someone in a plane write 'SARAH' in the sky last Sunday and I thought wistfully, 'isn't Sarah a lucky girl?' but the thing we sometimes forget is that the skywriter or whoever paid him will be a lucky man too, once Sarah gets her hands on him. For romantics the joy is in the doing but the more prosaic or unimaginative lover out there should always keep in mind that romantic gestures are investments that usually get paid back with interest.
There are two ways to woo your beloved - one is Overt, which is such things that you present to face to face and the other is what I call Sneaky love. This consists of something you leave for your intended to find that fills their heart with the sense of being loved even while you are not there. Overt Love
All of the overt suggestions are centred on food but turning the fulfilling of one primal instinct into two and refining it so the moment is about sharing and contentment.
-Make 'em Brekkie For the partner that usually gets to sleep in, sacrifice some of that inert pleasure and get up even earlier than they need to. Get into the kitchen and cook them something much more sustaining than they could manage on their own. Be careful though if your partner is not a morning person! Let them have a shower or wake up in their own time before thrusting your breakfast good will under their nose. Also remember that gestures, unlike marriage proposals, do not always come with immediate gratification. Pancakes in cute shapes are always a winner as it reminds most of us of the unrestricted love we received as a child.
This is a secret winner so don't abuse it! It works best if there is no occasion in mind but just a spontaneous expression. For the ladies I suggest also donning a pair of high heels but make sure you can still walk. Let your partner walk into a heavenly domain of savoury scents and beautiful sights. Have the table made and let them just relax. If you are not comfortable in your underwear then pop on an apron (or exercise!) or a slinky slip, if it is cold you can wear winter boots. Remember that you will be a little more exposed than usual so don't cook things that spit. For the guys there is an extension of this that will get you all the right attention. Do house work in your underwear. The top rated things are dish-washing and vacuuming because they are unexpected.
- Bake, bake, bake!! Do this at sometime when you are both home. The sweet smell of baking cake, pie or muffins is comforting and an aphrodisiac. If you are an advanced cook then go for something expressive that incorporates your partner's favourite flavours. If you are unexperienced just get a packet cake and follow the instructions. You can either be precocious not letting your partner near the kitchen while baking is in progress, or indulgent and let them lick the beaters, both are perfect platforms for flirting. Don't forget to make the presentation special. Write their initial on the biggest muffin, put a personal joke in icing on the cake or save a bit of pastry dough for a message on the pie. (Hint – pastry spreads so don't put them too close together.)
- Bring up the Past This is usually done in arguments for bad reasons so let's all put a spin on it and turn it into something good. I find this works best with a good meal or with a nice bottle of wine. Bring up the story of how you met or from during your courting stage and tell your partner a part of the story that they don't know. An inner thought that you were too shy to tell when you didn't know them as well or just some detail of how special they are that you've never said. Relive the moment of the budding of your romance and reinforce the sense of sharing and trust you now hold as a couple. This last one also works really well with best friends that you want to honour or feel gratitude towards. (Hint – need to write a best man or 21st speech?)
Sneaky Love Make their day without even being there. It may catch them unaware at a moment when they are feeling down or missing you.
Got access to their laptop? Even the home computer will do but this may not be the best thing for someone who is excessively private. However for the rest of us these little planned surprises can make the world a better place. Find a picture of yourself, their favourite movie, TV show, something they like or a personal joke and pop it on their computer as the background screen. They will see next time they fire it up and you will probably get a grateful text message or phone call when they do. The other option is to get into their phone or digital diary, even a written daily planner and jump a few weeks ahead, put in a reminder say for 12 on Tuesday to 'not blind people with their awesomeness' or 'remember that I love you'.
Leave a love heart in spilled sugar on the table for them. Some hugs and kisses in left over toast crumbs. A girlfriend of mine accidentally spilled an Africa shape with her coffee so then proceeded to make a whole world map on the bench for her man when he came home. This had significance for both of them and was a testament to their shared interests and a labour of love, not simply a spill for him to clean up. (Hint - do not attempt if your partner is a neat freak).
Write a message in soap on the mirror or shower door if it's glass. They won't see it until the room steams up but it's guaranteed to make them smile when they do. The other option for lipstick wearers who have to leave before their partner gets home is to leave a smooch on the mirror. Make sure you clean these up yourself though or the romance dies a horrible death.
- Mix Tape
This is a tried and true method of sneaky love. Often forgotten in this day and age but just burn them a CD or put it on a USB. Choose songs that are not only flattering to them and express how you feel but also songs that have significance to your relationship. Include a bit of literature that tells the story that goes with the song, this can be just a sentence or a date. This works especially well for peeps that are going away as it's a whole chunk of you they can take with them. Make sure you are giving them songs that they will like though, not just songs that you like.