The fork is mightier than the pen and the sword combined
Since my debut review on WeekendNotes was the almighty Pyrmont Bridge Hotel in all its unholy glory, it has been my privilege to take on their infamous new "Man or Mouse" food challenge. It is also my honour to bring the verdict back to you, my loyal readers.
This new shenanigan deserves a separate review in its own right, since the pub downstairs and the bistro upstairs are two very distinct entities. On the one hand, you've got a seedy den of vice and horribly undignified behaviour, teeming with feral backpackers, over-indulging well beyond their natural limits, vomiting all over the place, then coming back for more. The other is just a 24-hour licensed pub.
Once upon a time, the "Man or Mouse" challenge had a very tempting catch to it: eat a colossal serving of food, within an hour, and you get the whole meal for free. Mondays involved an entire BBQ chicken, along with a mountain of chips, and a side of potato salad for good measure. Thursdays offered the same - but with a one kilogram rump steak in place of the bird.
For reasons unknown, they've scrapped the freebie, but kept this hungry man coming back for more by extending their gluttonous affair to a full five days a week. Yes sir, you can now piss off the entire third world, every day from Monday through Friday, with a new and improved array of ridiculously meaty spreads. The chicken and steak still take their respective pride of place on Monday and Thursday, with the new entries of a "burger the size of your head" (Tuesdays), a pulled pork "Po'Boy" sandwich that sits at over a foot-and-a-half long (Wednesdays), and a giant rack of marinated pork ribs (Fridays).
The burger is the best, the ribs the easiest, and the steak the best value - though at $20 a piece, every one is worth a crack. The food itself is actually top notch - so this isn't just some sick gimmick to get idiots in the door and watch them destroy their digestive systems. Well... OK, it is. Big time. Regardless, the point still stands - this is some seriously good eatin'. Which makes me wonder - how can they possibly afford to employ such quality chefs, churn out such gargantuan meals, and still turn a profit? God bless the pokies...
Oh yeah, and on a final note, if you knock over three of these big'uns, you get to rock out with your very own PBH t-shirt. Knock over five? You receive the dubious prize of having your photo on the "honour roll", mounted on the wall, inside what is ironically one of Sydney's most dishonourable establishments.
Keep a sharp eye out for your favourite WeekendNotes author - rumour has it he'll be back again soon...
Monday - The full BBQ chicken, chips, and salad
Tuesday - The "burger the size of your head", with chips
Wednesday - The Po'Boy pulled pork roll, with chips and coleslaw
Thursday - My loyal followers, this is the big one... The 1kg steak challenge, with a mountain of chips, potato salad, and red wine gravy.
Friday - the fullest of full racks. Marinated pork ribs, giant pile of chips, not a dime over $20.