It's that sort of night where you're too tired to venture into the expansive jungle that is Melbourne's nightclub scene. You and your friends have called off the hunt for the ear-splitting, teeth-gnawing, stomach-turning dens of King Street yet you refuse to turn in for the night. The week is now over and the need for light inebriation beckons. Queue; Nevermind Bar, Hawthorn. Tucked away on the corner of Glenferrie and Burwood Road, Nevermind is a safe haven from all that is loud and obnoxious at night.
I give fair warning to new punters; you may need to search for a while before finding this bar as it can be easily missed, squashed between two larger buildings. What this bar lacks in size it compensates for in character.
As you enter, the wooden door is flaking and slightly askew. A crooked front tooth if you will. The interior poses an uncanny resemblance to that of a clubhouse. It's what I imagine the bars were like during the prohibition days in the deep south of the states. The lighting is soft against rustic brick walls and personal ornaments from the owners, staff and regulars cover the walls and ceilings. It's cosy yet vibrant. The chairs, lounges and tables are all second hand or salvaged from an antique store. It's like a quilt made of scrap materials and old clothes. It may look tattered around the edges but it holds more stories than your regular blanket and that's what this place provides: warmth, entertainment and character.
Deep in the basement of the building is the pool room. Here you'll find deep spring-less sofas and people shooting a game whilst sucking down a cigarette. If this all becomes too stuffy, the top level provides an outdoor rooftop with wooden tables and seating. The bars are located on the first and third levels to ensure your thirst is always quenched and the music can be heard from any corner of this unperturbed saloon.
The atmosphere is obviously relaxed however there is an upbeat edge to the place which keeps you from dozing off. Amidst the hive of chattering patrons, there is a steady knee-slapping, foot-tapping beat that provides Nevermind's cavernous rooms with a level of acoustic/funk tranquillity. Local bands and artists are also invited to perform on most popular nights.
Nevermind's busiest three nights are Tuesday's, Thursday's and Saturday's. To experience this hidden funk cave properly, I recommend attendance during a full house, for the vibe, but also on a quieter night to explore its obscure knick-knacks and deep, worn out couches.
If anyone asks where you've been, just tell them: "Nevermind".