Teacher educator and author of many teacher reference books. Amused by random ideas and loves random acts of kindness. Enjoys writing humour...seriously!Please see my Instagram: wilsonjeni
Published November 30th 2013
Decadent, raunchy and politically incorrect
Here's one of those enduring questions about life: Why are all the naughtiest things also so nice? These create endless dilemmas … about cost, calories, overindulgence… but oh so yummy and so much fun. Here are some of my favorite decadent experiences you just have to have over and over again in any one lifetime… when only the best will do.
Cold Rock It's a pretty simple but unique idea. Visiting Cold Rock is an event as well as a treat. Choose your favourite ice-cream flavour, mix it with lollies, fruit, nuts or chocolate. This is smashed and mixed together to create your own personalised ice cream. The stores have an enormous range of premium ice cream, low fat ice cream, gelato and sorbet flavours to choose from. If you include all the possible mix ins you have thousands of different flavour combinations to choose from… or try the Super Shakes, Smoothies and Spider drink options.
If you find it hard to pick take your delicious combinations home in a take home pack.
Some popular combinations include: Cookies and cream ice cream with smashed M&M's and Oreo's Chocolate ice cream with smashed Snickers and Maltesers Aussie Vanilla ice cream with smashed Strawberries and Chocolate Fudge Bubblegum ice cream with smashed Flake and Gummy Bears
But my favourite is Cheesecake ice-cream with crushed Turkish Delight and Cherry Ripe.
Werribee Mansion Appropriately entitled the Overindulgence package, from $389-889, the luxurious Mansion Hotel & Spa package includes accommodation, chilled bottle of Moët & Chandon, a three-course ŕ la carte dinner for two at award-winning Restaurant and gourmet breakfast.
The Werribee mansion is on expansive grounds and features manicured and rose gardens. It features a 17m indoor pool, spa, steam rooms and gymnasium. A great place for rejuvenation. Spoil yourself and do it in style.
Yarra Valley Chocolatier and Ice Creamery
Free chocolate tastings, café with homemade ice-creams, decadent pastries and ironically 'light lunches'. Guess you have to make room for the chocolate. If that's not enough to tempt you the showroom is as stunning as the beautiful valley views. Watch the Belgian and French chocolatiers handcraft chocolate while you are choosing your next treat. With 150 varieties there's got to be one that was made for you!
You might feel like you now need to join a health club but the chocolate club sounds much more appealing to me. Don't know why they bother… they had me on free chocolate tastings.
My take on this politically incorrect pastime is that grown men act like something from Toy Story toy soldiers and go around hiding behind barracades, in forts and behind bushes trying to shoot each other. It's a simulated battleground and equally vengeful. There are obviously no friends in war.
The boys come out bruised and battered but full of adrenalin. At $90 for 600 balls (including groin guard) it seems a bit extravagant to me. Apparently Paint Ball is considered a sport but I think it's for boys who have never grown up and old gamers who want to make the game more realistic.
Sugar Station Lolly Shop
This is where we first discovered there were so many flavours of jelly beans. They advertise that they have the widest range of lollies in the land. Our challenge – to taste them all – just for the sake of completeness.
We soon discovered many new and old favourites such as
Reese's Peanut Buttercups, Hershey's chocolate bars, Big Red gum or Charleston Chews, Twizzler's, Jolly Ranchers, Razzel's, sherbet-loaded lollies like the world-famous Pucker Powder and Peanut Butter M&Ms.
Sugar Station Lolly Shop also stock products from local producers and the best chocolatiers from around the world. The Sugar Station range of traditional lollies includes boiled lollies, Sweethearts, English toffee, lollipops galore and favourite sweets including pineapples, racing cars, milk bottles and remember witchetty grubs? For those who like their lollies nice and tart, there is a whole section including sour worms, sour gummies, sour cola bottles and sour rings.
Sugar Station has Melbourne's biggest supply of America lollies that according to the kids are the best! They also have a range on-line and if they don't have it, they'll try to get it for you.
Lord of the Fries
Classic, chunky or sweet potato fries, freshly cut Aussies potato with skins on and twice cooked. Can't get much more indulgent and tasty than that. Choose from 14 different sauces from around the world, perhaps Mexican - salsa and cream, Belguin – mayo cream or Indian - a spicy mango chutney sour cream.
There's also a large selection of hot dogs and burgers…vegetarian that is! Caters for vegan, gluten free, vegetarian, halal and kosher and virtually fat free. The hot dogs are $7.95 and there are mini burgers but what the hell, while you're there you might as well upgrade to a double patty add a few nuggets and chilli peppers!
Of course I've never been there, just been told all about it by a friend of a friend. This is apparently worth visiting, if only for the laugh. In thirteen hidden locations around Melbourne and conveniently open 7 days 9am – midnight, Sexyland will wrap your purchases discreetly in a brown paperbag so no one will know where you have been (unless they are also carrying a brown paperbag!).
If you are too shy to visit you must have a look at their on-line store. They have an incredible range of unidentifiable products including ticklers and toys for males and females. Too confusing? Start with the basics? Who would you ask for details? To my amusement, also on-line is a whole section on caring for your toys. My reading of it (for the sake of this research) is that the consequences of slack arse care (pardon the pun) is worse than risks of foot and mouth disease at playgroup or mad cows disease.