An accomplished, well travelled writer and reviewer, Michele resides in Brisbane. Witty and highly articulate, her rivetting reviews show life through the eyes of a highly Gifted Adult viewing a world where she has an IQ in the top 1% of that world.
Published April 24th 2012
'I'm gonna hit the highway like a battering ram on a silver black phantom bike'
First of all you need access to a dude with a bike and a second helmet. By far the best and quickest way is by using an online dating site. Use your prettiest pictures as bait. Create an adventurous profile. Mention that you've ridden camels in Cairo, an elephant in Thailand and been photographed posing on a lion in Zimbabwe. He doesn't need to know that riding a camel is easy and that the lion was heavily sedated.
Mention you love sports, especially rugby and you go for St George. That's easy to remember because it's also your bank. Google the team and learn a few facts like who is the coach, where is their home ground, where they are on the ladder, a few key players and their positions and who has been suspended and why. It's easy. I've fooled heaps. Know their team colours.
Adding a feminine angle gives you an edge. Men love the combination of feminine with guts. It's what Tarzan liked about Jane. Mention you are an ex Ballet dancer. It suggests grace and beauty and confirms balance. Say you shoot. Mention that you're into Thrash Metal.
Look through the male profiles for guys with bikes. If they've got one, he'll be posing with it. Study the bike not him. A Harley is obvious and is the perfect pillion ride and no bike equals the guts of that thing's roar or purr. If the bike is colourful and the seats slope forward, it is a sport's bike, probably Italian. Because it slopes you forward, you need to be able to hang on like a wrestler with your inner legs. Great for speed and their dip on corners is deadly, but the foot pegs are short changed as the designers were going for speed and didn't care about a pillion.
There are various other bikes. The horse power is measured in Ccs. Ask him what he's got. If it's under 1000 Ccs, write him off. You want to defy death. Tell him, if like me, you have your own bike gear. You're experienced. If you're not, dice with death. As my doctors keep telling me, this sport is more fatal than just skydiving, that's the appeal. I've seen a dead motor cyclist up close.
Take a look at the guy and study his profile for deviance. Don't be put off if he looks like Satan, they often do but they are not. If he's mature, make a choice between experience and being seen in Mt Nebo cafe with him. Most of the time he will be wearing a helmet. Take comfort.
A few things to know: as mentioned, grip his legs with yours. It can be hard to hold onto a leather jacket, so you will probably have your hands somewhere near his groin. He won't mind. As he takes a corner, lean with him in the same direction. If he stops at traffic lights, be prepared for the sudden acceleration as he takes off. If he feels your leg, he's checking you are still there.
What you wear may say 'hello' to the bitumen at speed. Keep the jeans and leather jacket thick. You need gloves. Both my leather jacket and gloves are ones I can wear out to catch a band. I live in my boots. Check the helmet is secure and you're ready to ride. It's deadly, it's dangerous, it's damn good. Maybe I'm damned if I never get out and maybe I'm damned if I do.'