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Melbourne's Strangest Fast Food

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Published August 18th 2014
Ridiculous fast food that you can actually buy
Melbourne's Strangest Fast Food

Melbourne is a prime destination for foodies, but we do not just have fine dining and indie cafes. There are some truly strange creations out there just waiting to be eaten. Some are the same old but presented in a creative way, others are monstrosities that only the bravest will devour.

kono pizza
Pizza in a cone- yes, it's a thing and you can get it in Melbourne. Image: Kono Pizza.

I have previously written about Melbourne's weirdest restaurants, but they serve quite normal food, albeit with oddball décor. If you are sick of scoffing the same old burgers every time you get fast food, I challenge you to eat some of these strange creations.

Ramen burger
Abbotsford restaurant Shizuku specialises in Japanese cuisine and craft beer. An unusual combination perhaps, but wait until you see their menu. They pride themselves on their wide selection of ramen (Japanese noodles), including the unusual ramen burger. Instead of the filling being served in a bun made of bread, they are sandwiched between two ramen patties. Filling options are pork belly or miso-glazed eggplant. The ramen burger, which may be even messier to eat than a regular burger, costs $15.

Fans of the ramen burger may also be interested in its healthier cousin, the sushi burger

ramen burger shizuku
Are you brave enough to try the ramen burger? Image:

Pizza in a cone

Early last year, Dandenong's Pizza Tornado became the first place in Melbourne to get pizza in a cone. Unfortunately for Pizza Tornado, it would seem that few people are seeking pizza in a cone in a near-abandoned shopping plaza. Since then, Kono Pizza has also come to the party with its first store opening in snazzy South Yarra.

Pizza in a cone is certainly easier to eat than regular flat pizza, and since it is all self-contained in the cone, it does not require much cheese to hold it together. It is an old favourite turned inside out.

tornado pizza in a cone
Pizza in a cone from Pizza Tornado.

Banana pizza
Banana pizza could be a good idea if it were a dessert pizza. Slices of banana dripping with ice cream and chocolate sauce sounds divine. Unfortunately, banana pizza from Mojo's Weird Pizza is savoury. The bananas are complemented with cheese, bacon, sweet chilli sauce and brown sugar.

banana mojo's weird pizza
Banana pizza: it's your funeral. Image:

Could anything possibly be more disgusting? Apparently, yes. Mojo's Weird Pizza also sells a "Prickly Pear" pizza, which has poached pear with prosciutto, caramelised onion and goat cheese. A medium sized weird pizza from the Port Melbourne store is $17.90.

Paleo fast food
Fast food is meant to be a greasy, guilty pleasure. Looks like Thr1ve, a fast food outlet for clean eaters, didn't get the memo. Designed to be compatible with the controversial Paleo diet, they serve food high in protein and fibre with few carbohydrates. Their "signature bowl" is a complete meal with a meat or vegetarian protein source of your choice on a base of vegetables or rice. At $12.90 for a full-sized meal and $9.90 for an entrée size, they are no more expensive than regular food court fare.

Thr1ve's first Melbourne store is located on level three of the Emporium.

thr1ve paleo melbourne fast food
Signature salad bowl. Image: Thr1ve Facebook page.

There is nothing strange about the humble cheese toastie. But there is something very odd about the way it reaches you, if you order from Jafflechute. As the name suggests, your jaffle is parachuted to you. You order your jaffle of choice and wait at the nominated spot at the appointed time, which will be somewhere in the city so they can drop the jaffle from several storeys above. Stay tuned to the Jafflechute Twitter to find out when their next Melbourne event is.

jafflechute melbourne
Jafflechute gives you the thrill of catching your own food, just as nature intended. Image: Jafflechute Twitter.
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Why? To keep these places in business. Nobody actually likes banana pizza.
Your Comment
I so want to try a pizza in a cone!. The Jafflechute is amusing. You'd better arrive on time, or your toastie might land on the floor!
by Bryony Harrison (score: 4|12594) 2151 days ago
Awesome article. I have to get my hands on one of the pizza cones. The ramen burger looks amazing, too.
by H. Clare Callow (score: 2|109) 2142 days ago
All these foods look awesome. Would be great to have the Paleo at all food courts as a healthy alternative. Thanks Natasha
by sonte (score: 0|2) 2143 days ago
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