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Life After Divorce

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by Loni Joy (subscribe)
Love travelling n writing...
Published April 29th 2013
Celebrate the new start you've been given
I'm Divorced: Now What?

Packed the last of the boxes into the boot of your car?
Feeling a tad numb at the thought of moving on alone?
Can't think about your future without welling up in tears?
Why not see it as an opportunity?
Why not throw that "divorce party" you know, the one we sometimes hear about but haven't participated in. YET.

You could however, light a candle and burn the tripple F's....

write down all your fears, failures and frustrations and watch it burn to ash.

invite your closest friends to write down their tripple F's and join you.

There is strength in letting go of things that no longer serve us. We are free to fly, perhaps for the first time in our lives.

We all have to learn to face our fears. Fear = "False Evidence Appearing Real". The funny thing is, the moment we move past a fear it falls away, maybe not completely, but somehow it loses some of it's sting.

We also need to become more mindful of what we constantly think about because our thoughts can confuse us, especially when we feel vulnerable and raw. Try to remember that a thought can be changed. It's easy as 1 -2 -3. If you think a scary thought change it to something more positive "I am living one day at a time" or "I will get through this and emerge stronger".

what's next?
Embrace new beginnings ...


Now is the time for celebration.

1. Forgive yourself and your ex. No one wins in the blame game.
2. Let go of resentment as it is truly poisonous and no-body wants to be around a resentful bitter person.
3. Re-define your relationships. All of them.
4. Learn to feel comfortable with yourself again, dine for one, willingly accept the situation.
5. Get out and make new friends. You never know who could be waiting around the corner?
6. Set your sights on a new direction or project.
7. Ever wanted to learn the salsa? tango? Want to improve your swim stroke? Now is the time to go do that "something" you've been meaning to do.

Don't waste another second in mourning. Get it out, cry, burn it up and get busy re creating YOUR new beginning.

So many unexpected things can come about when we are in re-development mode of our lives. We can change course, we can embrace new types of friends, we can begin to sleep in on Sunday mornings. We can start that writing project or volunteer overseas. The world literally is, our oyster. It is a great adventure that, (even if your not happy yet) - you'll be glad you embarked upon.

It's only in hindsight that we can appreciate all that we have learned.

Make a list of all the things you used to love to do when you were younger. Sometimes these are the hidden seeds of our future potential!
Make a list of all your positive and great qualities.
Make a list of nice things that people are saying to you. Take time for yourself to get to know who you are as a single person again.

Learn New Things
Sailing, anyone?


It may sound simple but heck, sometimes it's the simple remedies in life that really are the best. Focus on what you now want to create for you truly are, the master of your destiny.
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