The above pretty much sums up my lunching experience yesterday at Laurent Bakery in Kew. Billed on their website as a 'French delight experience' I can tell you it is anything but. My dining companion and I spent around $40 on a Tuna Foccacia, Roast Lamb (shredded) in Turkish bread, one latte and a long black. My Roast Lamb was, I suspect one week old at best (with the texture of soft, chewy rubber); as was the slice of eggplant it came with and after a few minutes of eating I discovered they were both off; if only I'd noticed before eating a quarter of it I could've saved myself much stomach acid in the hours that followed. The tuna foccacia was disturbingly limp and not so fresh either. As for the drinks - the long black was fine, however my latte seemed to contain only 1% coffee and 99% milk & water – although it was hard to even raise your elbow to take sip in such cramped quarters, and doubly difficult to move food around the minuscule plates that are probably best used for decorative purposes.
After realising just how awful and gag-worthy what we'd been consuming was, my fellow sickened diner informed the staff of our disgust and we stormed out (well, she stormed – I ran; hand-over-mouth in an attempt to keep said 'disgust' down).
In conclusion, I hope this serves not just as a review – but a warning of where to never, ever eat in Kew.