Don't be late for a Jeff Green show.
Especially if you're pregnant. *
The Daily Mirror (UK) call him "A national treasure" and to The Sun he's "The funniest stand-up in Britain" but Jeff Green has quite a bit of Australian flavour in his comedy recipe - including the ability to shine a spotlight on some home truths through being plain funny.
"You've got cheek cramp", I say, "They'll get stronger throughout the Festival."
Thanks, Jeff, for kicking off opening night of the Festival with such laughter.
Perfect for the not so easily offended, take your best spouse and witness this funny man try to fit a lifetime of self-deprecation into an hour - and bemoan that he still has "so many more jokes to tell you."