I'm a freelance writer living in Perth, Western Australia.
Published August 3rd 2012
The Unofficial Jaws Sequel You Must See To Believe
Jaws 5: Cruel Jaws
Jaws 5: Cruel Jaws, directed by Bruno Mattei, is an early mid-nineties film, which due to copyright laws, would never be made today.
Out of all the many Jaws clone films that are out there in the world, Cruel Jaws takes the cake for being the granddaddy for all rip-offs, the title in itself seems to say it all. The film is riddled with terrible dubbing, editing and nauseating carnival music throughout and full chunks of exact to near exact dialogue and small visual clips have been splashed in from the first three Jaws films, along with entire scenes from two other famous Italian made Jaws clone "Euro-trash" films; Joe D'Amato's Deep Blood and Enzo Castellari's The Last Shark. It even rips off musical cues from none other than Star Wars.
Jaws 5: Cruel Jaws
Cruel Jaws tells the story of the little coastal town of Hampton Bay, at a time when it is being threatened by a massive man-eating tiger shark, during their annual Regatta celebration, threatening to destroy their tourist trade, as it cuts the population down with every chomp. If that wasn't enough, the owners of the local aquarium park have been subject to a hostile takeover from a bully of a prospective businessman, looking for money. It's up to the local sheriff, the park's owner and a shark expert to head out to sea and destroy the massive beast, before the summer economy is slashed and the park is destroyed.
The main character of the heinous film may be a dead ringer for Hulk Hogan, but the best actors of Cruel Jaws would have to be a couple of well trained dolphins, a cheeky "butt slapping" seal and the massive fake "attack shark", which at around one hour and twenty three minutes into the film, is seen, with its head popping out of the water and a diver hanging out of its mouth, being shot at by a hunter, while he shouts "I'll get you, you bastard", as the shark rears itself back down into the ocean, a loud sound, which can only be described as sounding like an extremely loud fart, is heard escaping out of its mouth, resulting in absolute hilarity.
Cruel Jaws is unrated, but would suit a mature audience, so this is not one for the kiddies.
