"I've bought a house in the country that has given me twenty minutes of material. It was a fantasy of mine to have an idyllic place in the rolling hills.
"When I flush the loo in London, I don't for a moment think about the plumbing. It just happens. But it turns out that idyllic houses in the middle of nowhere don't have plumbing. They have septic tanks that you have to empty once a year. They don't highlight that in the estate agents' brochures. People always say, 'the previous owners left all their crap behind.' Well, I'm literally in that situation!"
"I'm bringing everything to this show – voices, physical comedy, the works. That way, I can really paint pictures on stage. If it's genuinely working, you hit sections that are very funny and the audience just lap it up. I now know that every time I reach a certain bit, they'll applaud. My job is to get the whole show to that level. I'm so excited about it!"
Michael McIntyre - Happy & Glorious UK & Ireland Tour
Tickets cost from £39. Visit www.michaelmcintyre.co.uk for booking details.
August 7 - 15, 2015 - PLYMOUTH - PAVILIONS
August 19 - 22, 2015 - BOURNEMOUTH - BIC
August 27 - 30, 2015 - BRIGHTON - CENTRE
September 2 - 6, 2015- CARDIFF - MOTORPOINT ARENA
September 10 - 12, 2015 - NOTTINGHAM - CAPITAL FM ARENA
September 18 - 19 and September 25 - 26, 2015 - BIRMINGHAM - THE BARCLAYCARD ARENA
October 1 - 4 and October 8 - 10, 2015 - LONDON - THE O2
October 16 - 17, 2015 - SHEFFIELD - MOTORPOINT ARENA
October 22 - 24, 2015 - LONDON - THE SSE ARENA WEMBLEY
October 29 - 31, 2015 - MANCHESTER - ARENA
November 6 - 7, 2015 - DUBLIN - O2
November 13 - 14, 2015 - BELFAST - ODYSSEY ARENA
November 19 - 21, 2015 - GLASGOW - THE SSE HYDRO
November 24 - 25, 2015 - ABERDEEN - GE GAS & OIL ARENA
November 27 - 28, 2015 - NEWCASTLE - METRO RADIO ARENA
December 4 - 5, 2015 - LIVERPOOL - ECHO ARENA
December 10 - 11, 2015 - LEEDS - FIRST DIRECT ARENA