I Don't - Book Review

Post

Subscribe

Ford, C. I Don't . Allen & Unwin. (2023). Image Link.

Clementine Ford is a bestselling author, award-winning podcaster, columnist, public speaker, and an outspoken feminist from Melbourne, Australia. Ford has become very well-known in Australia for her thoughts on feminism, sex, relationships, misogyny, gender inequality, and pop culture. She has worked as a columnist for Daily Life, the Age, and the Sydney Morning Herald and as a podcast host for the shows “Clementine Ford’s Big Sister Hotline” , “Dear Clementine” and “Untethered with Clementine Ford.” Ford has published multiple non-fiction books about gender and feminist theory which include “Fight like a Girl” (2016), “Boys Will Be Boys” (2018), "How We Love: Notes on a Life" (2021), and “I Don’t” (2023). In 2017, Ford was awarded for her work in publishing with the Matt Richell Award for Best New Writer of the Year at the Australian Book Industry Awards. In her latest book “I Don’t” Clementine Ford presents evidence that marriage was created to control the lives of women. “I Don’t” is 384-pages long and was published by Allen & Unwin on 31 October 2023.

Clementine Ford is a controversial figure in Australia who has been labelled by many as an “angry hysterical woman” who hates men. I’ve seen her on television and social media but had never read one of her books. It was only after reading “I Don’t” that I realised a lot of her viewpoints align with mine and how biased the media is against her. A lot of Ford’s critics would have people believe that a book written by her would be 380 pages of her ranting about how much she hates men but that’s not the case at all. "I Don't" is a well-written book filled with facts, humour, and female rage that makes a pretty convincing argument that marriage was only ever invented to control the lives of women.

One of the myths about marriage that Ford talks about in the book is romantic love being motivation for marriage. For the longest time, women and girls had limited access to education and career opportunities, and were considered property that could be traded from one man to another. Marriage was a political union between two families that provided economic security for the woman. In return, the woman would be expected to serve her husband, and to give him heirs. It would be a long time before the idea of marrying for love would become common.

Women have always faced a lot of societal pressure to get married and have children. Women who fail to find a husband or choose to work outside of the home have traditionally been labelled with derogatory terms like spinster, old maid, fish wife, cat lady, or witch. In “I Don’t” Ford explains the history behind a lot of these words. A spinster, in modern times, means a woman who is considered too old to get married or have children. But did you know that wasn’t always the case? A long time ago, a spinster was an unmarried, typically childless woman, who spun wool for a living on a spinning wheel. A woman could achieve financial independence working as a spinster which gave them the freedom to reject marriage for economic security. This is where the negative connotation associated with the word comes from. The spinning wheel went from a symbol of financial independence of women to a word used to describe women viewed as pitiful because they did not choose marriage. This really makes Sleeping Beauty hit differently, huh?

I found the chapter about witches to be fascinating. I had no idea that the image of a witch rooted in popular culture came from alewives. An alewife was a term used in medieval times to describe a woman who brewed and sold beer in an ale house. The alewives would wear pointed hats and brew their beer in cauldrons, would display broomsticks outside their homes, and keep cats to drive away mice. Ale brewing was considered a female profession in Medieval Europe for a long time and was a popular career choice for a lot of unmarried women. This all changed over time as more men became involved in the production of ale. Women were forced out of the industry, stripped of their independence, and encouraged to get married and stay obedient to their husbands. As more men became involved in brewing ale, people started to view alewives with suspicion, which led to accusations they were practising witch craft.

Clementine Ford makes some pretty convincing arguments in “I Don’t” that marriage is a trap for women. She thinks that society would be better off if we abolished it. I am not sure I agree with that. But I do agree that we need to stop pushing the myth of “And they lived happily ever after” onto people. Marriage is a choice that you can make in life. No one should ever feel like they’ve been forced into it. The song “Single Ladies” is catchy, but sorry Beyoncé, you don’t have to always put a ring on it. In the final chapter of "I Don't", Clementine asks wouldn't it be nice if instead of holding engagement parties or wedding receptions, we held big parties to celebrate other big moments in a woman’s life? Imagine that. All of your family and friends getting together to throw you a party for getting a promotion, graduating from school, or for even just being a great friend. What a lovely idea.

Summary: Feminist writer and activist Clementine Ford presents her arguments about why she thinks that marriage is an out dated institution rooted in misogyny that historically has been used to control women.
Cost $34.99
Website: I Don't by Clementine Ford - Allen & Unwin Books
More Book Reviews by Marisa
Yellowface - Book Review
The Woman in Me - Book Review
Wavewalker: Breaking Free - Book Review

#book_reviews
#random
#arts_culture
#books_writing

%wneverywhere