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How to Survive in Brisbane Without a Car

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by deletedwriter (subscribe)
An accomplished, well travelled writer and reviewer, Michele resides in Brisbane. Witty and highly articulate, her rivetting reviews show life through the eyes of a highly Gifted Adult viewing a world where she has an IQ in the top 1% of that world.
Published April 17th 2012
Image by Marc Mateus (Wikimedia Commons)

I had a nice little hatchback. I was at New Farm when the floods hit and claimed the car. I spent the insurance money. The money I'm saving on not having a car I spend on eBay Art Deco stuff.

I write more without a car because I am forced to stay home like a 1950s housewife, even though I am between husbands. I read, I learn, I keep a stylish, spotless house but I am probably becoming socially retarded to the point where it is detectable on psychological tests. My official social psychological diagnosis is:
Highly selective extrovert". However, I think my extroversion has fallen away and I don't get to be so selective anymore.

Public transport in Brisbane is very good. My preferred form is a taxi. The Translink site is magical. You just tell it where you want to go to and from and it will cook up a plan for bus or train travel and calculate the cost. It will tell you your closest bus stop which for me is not close but it does head exactly to where I would want to go if I chose the destination: The Cultural Centre.

It's just that getting to the bus stop involves climbing a Nepalese mountain and I'm not as fit as I was when I obtained my fitness clearance to do Mt Everest base camp a few years ago.

The CityCats are great if you can get to the river and a nice way to travel. It's boating on a budget. Go cards can be used on any mode of transport and are economical and popular with students.

I like train travel but I am a bit deterred ever since the day a man jumped in front of one at the Valley station and was fatally injured. I like being in the train but I'm now nervous on the platform.

A word of warning about the ferocity of those overhead railway electric lines. Don't even think about climbing on the roof and 'train surfing. Sit quietly inside and stand up for the elderly, disabled and pregnant. Don't, as I have witnessed, sit there looking 'I'm so goth' whilst flicking a cigarette lighter flame at your long fringe. Someone like me, who is fire informed and security savvy is going to hit the intercom and inform the guard. You are endangering yourself and others and are probably on drugs. You will look so goth as you are hand cuffed and dragged from the train by police.

Further warning about the overhead lines. I have been an RN on the highly specialised Burns Unit. Don't stand on top of an overhead bridge and say, "Hey, watch this guys!" as you urinate on the high voltage powerlines. As per my patient, the electricity will rocket up your urine stream, disintegrate your penis and then earth through your leg, which means you lose a leg. It doesn't end there. Without the use of that leg you will fall forward onto the powerlines, catch fire and then fall onto the train tracks. You will be a long time on the Burns Unit and aged nineteen you are too young to lose a limb and a penis.

Another way of getting around without a vehicle is to use online dating sites. It actually asks do you have a car? Before contacting someone, check they have a car. They could be a poor student on public transport. You can manage to line up some paid for 'get out of the house' time and some transport. Forget the love and romance angle, this is pure pragmatism.

You can get by without a car.
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Why? Transport
When: As required
Where: Brisbane
Cost: Varies
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