A year ago today I arrived in Australia with one thing on my mind. I was going to change my life for the better. This, I felt, was my last ditch attempt to get happy, to be a success and to find my way. It dawned on me at Glastonbury Festival in June 2011 that no one was coming to fix me, no one was going to sort out my life, it was up to me and I had to get on with it.
Happy Me. One Year On!!
So I did, one week later, I booked a one-way ticket to Australia. Although I didn't have an awful life, I didn't like my job, had stress and pressure, I was still single, not happy where I lived, I had issues to work through and losses in my life. Everything I seemed to go into be it, work, life, relationships, home, family, health I always expected the worst and to be let down, and I usually was.
Now one year on? I am very happy. I have started my own business which is doing really well, I am more confident than ever, I have a boyfriend, I have travelled Australia and met loads of people, I am a writer and I have lost 14 kilos. But the biggest change is that I know that I deserve to be happy and successful. I would say, in just one year I am a totally different person. But what made this time different? Why after so many false starts did this time work?
Here are some basic steps to help change your life.
Step One – The Decision.
Making that decision to change and really meaning it and acting on it will have the biggest impact, and will tell the world you are ready and open to change. I mean, really make that decision and stick to it, treat it as your last chance, think of spending the rest of your life not quite feeling satisfied and fed up. That was the key for me, I thought about me 10 years ago and having the same issues and problems as I did right now, then I though 10 years from now, and life still being the same, and it was the push I needed to change.
Step Two – What Needs to Change.
Get a goal list. It could be that you want to lose weight, you want to move home, you want to meet someone special, you want to get a new job. Choose as many things as you want then put them in priority order – think about what is important right now. Also, remember to think from your point of view – often we can create goals for ourselves and actually they are really with other people in mind. This is a time to be selfish, think about you and what will make you happy and bring joy? When I came to do this part I really struggled to get started. In the Law of Attraction it tells you to start with the negative – look at what you don't want then flip it and that will be your goal. So, I don't want to stay in my boring job where I am under supported, becomes I need a new fulfilling job where I am supported by a wonderful team. Then you have your list to start working on.
Step Three – Be More Positive.
I made a conscious decision to quit moaning and complaining, we all do it, and I am very guilty of this, as my poor mates and my facebook timeline will testify to. I decided to only focus on what I did have and could do, rather than what I didn't and can't. The Law of Attraction, tells us "like attracts like" so I figured with this in mind I wasn't pushing much positive happy energy out into the world, so how could positive happy energy come back to me? I suggest make a list (I like lists) about what you are good at, what you have achieved, what your strengths are, what you are proud of. Ask mates and family to tell you what they believe are your strengths; it is very empowering to see yourself through other people's eyes and you may be surprised to hear what people think. You can also think back to appraisals at work about things that were highlighted as positive skills. This will give you some key things to lead with in your quest and a much needed confidence boast, plus it may highlight a potential career path or hobby not originally considered.
Step Four – Let Go and Find Solutions.
By letting go of the past and the things that you simply cannot change, by just accepting and taking from them what you can, you will start to get the strength and confidence to focus on what you can start changing. How excellent to just let go and get some control back – you have the power to affect what happens in your life to make a difference. For example a weakness that became apparent was my lack of authority. So, with my solution hat on (not literally, of course), I thought how could I solve that? So I did a leadership and management course, which gave me the tools to stand my ground and to believe in myself, and the decisions I was making. There are always ways and means to improve and better yourself, you just have to believe you can, and focus on the solution rather than the problem. When things don't go how I expect now I look at it like "
it wasn't meant to be and there is something better for me". Hard to do, but if you can it really helps and allows you to regain control and focus.
Now I am not for a second saying it is easy, it is not, and it takes time too. But by making that initial decision to change your life, looking at what you want and what you don't want, by shifting focus and being more positive, you will start to see a real difference. The change in me in just 12 months is extraordinary, and I know this is just the beginning.
