I'm like a piece of bread. Reliable, tasty and a little naughty. Check out my blog - www.brigquest.com
Published November 3rd 2012
I want to help put that smile on your beautiful dial again
A broken heart is never fun. I've been there twice now and I'm only 23 (god help me, for the future ). Both times were dark and difficult phases in my life and as cliché as this sounds, I did come out the other end a better and wiser person. I figured, the steps I took to finally see the light, could be handy to anyone else going through this.
1. Accepting total depression
You don't really have a choice with this step, so I find accepting it works best. Cry into your pillow or your pet, or your pillow pet for hours, talk about your ex with anyone who will listen and enjoy the fact you have lost your appetite for now, because trust me, it will come back with a vengeance soon.
Okay, so you have cried and moped around the house for 2 weeks now. That's appropriate and your support network should understand. Now, I know you are nowhere near being fine, but think of your company and how they could start getting over this sulky attitude. By all means, still have your depressed moments, but don't let every moment be a depressed one. Learn to smile again, even if it's at the smallest things, like if your favourite episode of Modern Family has just started.
3. Don't go clubbing
Resist the urge from friends to go out for a big night, to help forget you're worries. Unless you meet Robert Pattinson and make out all night, this will always end badly. Alcohol and clubbing is a bad mix, especially this early on. DO however hang around friends and even go to a pub for a casual drink.
4. Comfort Eating
I say this with cap locks, because it's my favourite stage (I can always manage to see a positive, amongst so many negatives). Buy two ultimate burger meals from KFC just for yourself, I'm not judging you. Eat endless bowls of chocolate ice-cream and don't you dare feel bad about finishing off that whole bag of chips. The key to this stage is not letting it last longer than a week.
5. Focus on the things that lead up to this break up
You are never going to be able to move on, if you keep your ex on a pedestal. There must be a reason for the break up, so start to understand it better. Maybe you two were only meant to be in each other's lives for that period of time or you may not have been completely compatible.
6. Learn from your mistakes
Most of the time it takes two, for a relationship to crumble. I know personally in some of my earlier relationships I was selfish and didn't understand the art of compromise. What are the things you can improve on, to make yourself a better partner?
7. Start to break free from all the negative emotions
We all know you have tortured yourself over this break up for weeks now. It's time to let it go. As hard and impossible as this seems, it's not. You have to be grateful you were both in each others lives and for the amazing memories. Everything happens for a reason and you never know what the future holds.
7. Love yourself
You are feeling more positive? Yay, let's rejoice in the moment. You are laughing and socialising more, already this is a boost in confidence and you are realising you have your inner swag back. It's time to make you, happy. Get that Diploma you've always dreamed about, but never had the time. Join a gym. Get a new hair style. It's all you, you and you baby!
I could keep on going to step 80, but it's different for everybody and I don't think you need to know every step (like step 9, practice flirting with your desk lamp) If you can get to step 7, I can assure you, you will be fine.
If you are going through heartbreak, I really wish I could eat chocolate and have deep conversations with you and tell you how awesome you are, but sadly I don't think I could get around to everyone. Break ups are apart of life (unless you are one of the lucky ones), so try and get a lesson out of it and always be grateful!
If you did truly love someone, chances are you will never completely get over them, but it's about learning how to enjoy life again and stitching up the broken cracks in your heart with laughter, new memories, a positive outlook and new and old kinds of love.