How to Communicate with a Teenager

How to Communicate with a Teenager

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Posted 2013-05-25 by Nicole Arathoonfollow


Most people would respond to this statement with.. don't. Don't talk to a teenager because your general reply will be a grunt with no eye contact and a quick exit into their bedroom to put their earplugs in and disappear into their world of music or gaming. If this sounds familiar then keep reading.

As an educator of difficult teenagers in an alternative school setting, we spend each day communicating with teenagers. Somedays the communication is effective and on other days, well, it depends on the teenager's mood on that particular day.

But we have found five effective tools to assist with talking to your beautiful teenage boy or girl are;

1. Be calm at all times. Even when it feels like your head is going to explode with frustration. Take a deep breath, walk away and then re-engage when you are calmer. A teenager is fantastic at pushing your buttons. They have known you for more than ten years and have worked out what behaviours will get a reaction from you. Don't give them what they expect. Be calm.

2. Be fair and use the statement "I want to be fair". Teenagers are all about what is fair and what isn't. In their world they are always the victim and you are the perpetrator of the unfair rules and laws. If you need to enforce a consequence be sure that it matches the crime. Otherwise you will hear about it. Depending on your teenager, you may be able to negotiate the consequence. Ask them what they think is fair.

3. Be respectful of their growth and change. They are no longer your little baby. Give them reasonable responsibilities and allow them some freedom. Trust them until they prove you wrong. Give them some slack to grow with. A little at a time of course but be sure to let them know you trust them. I am a strong believer that if you respect your teenager, they will grow up respecting you.

4. Be firm and instil boundaries at all times. If it feels right to you, never back down. Say "No" at times. If there are clear boundaries in place your teenager will of course attempt to push them and get away with plenty but your boundaries and rules are important for their growth. Boundaries are a reflection of society and what is expected in the workforce. If they have boundaries at home then their transition into the big wide world will be easier for them.

5. Be a good role model yourself. If you have expectations of your teenager then epitomise it yourself, as your teenager will always have expectations of you too. If you want your teenager to clean up their room, then you need to have a clean room too. Your teenager is clever. They have no qualms telling you when you are not correct. Be one step ahead of them and be sure to be doing what you are asking of them.

Teenagers can be tough but also loveable. Keep in mind they are simply young adults and if you treat them as such then ideally your relationship with them will grow and develop. They need you to be an adult and guide them. Enjoy their growth and the wonderful relationship you can have with them.

#kids
#how_to
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89620 - 2023-06-11 08:10:30

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