Wherever you are in the country, Australia Day is one big government declared excuse to publicly display our inner sense of nationalism. We're Australian. And we're proud.
Devoting one day of the year to celebrate our origins means business. We have to party, and we have to do it right. Now, shuffle a little closer, as I am about to reveal five tasty tips to a traditional Novocastrian Australia Day.
1. You must be completely decked out in as much Australian flag covered paraphernalia that your flimsy $2 shop baskets will hold. There are no exceptions to this rule; your nationality must be clearly identifiable to any foreign passersby. The more heinously mismatched your outfit is, the better. No one gives out pats on the back to those who left their Aussie pride at home, only disdained looks.
2. You must be eating leftover sausages for weeks. They will fill your freezer, the fridge, and the backup freezer in the garage. Nothing says 'Australia Day' like a BBQ covered in snags. Australia Day is also an all day affair, so if old mate in the corner gets a little too drunk and finds himself famished, he can help himself to the stack of sausages on the barbie that you made sure to stock up on. Better to have too much than too little, right?
3. Vote in Triple J's Hottest 100. If you've still got a lingering love for 2012, is there a better way to reminisce than to count down the hottest 100 tunes of 2012 with our favourite radio hosts of Triple J? I think not. Head on over to the Triple J website to place your vote and you will thank yourself for choosing these golden tunes on January 26th.
4. If you don't have a pool or a slip 'n' slide at the ready, I'm sincerely sorry, but you've missed out on a crucial step. This tip does not have to be a massive expense on the day, either. A tarpaulin stretched out in the backyard, a hose, and a lot of detergent from mum's pantry which is stocked like a fallout shelter will become the greatest and cheapest slip 'n' slide you've seen. Likewise, you do not need a fancy in-ground pool to get the job done. A $20 blowup pool from your nearest Kmart will suffice, but you may want to get your mates to bring one too because most only cater to three adults and a small child/dog at any one time. If a slip 'n' slide or a pool doesn't strike your fancy, take a drive to any of Newcastle's stunning beaches that line the coast and not only will you be surrounded by many happy Australians, but you will be in the prime location for festivities happening in Newcastle's town centre.
5. If you're not sunburnt, then you clearly missed a step. Okay, so we've seen enough billboards about our skin cells screaming, but if you're in Newcastle, being sunburnt is really something you can't avoid. It's the trademark of an awesome Australia Day. But for all intents and purposes, wear as many hats and as much sunscreen as you remember to on the day.
And all the rest is irrelevant! Follow these golden rules, surround yourself with good friends and family, and you will have a superb Australia Day. Stay safe, and happy celebrating!