Roses are red, violets are blue, I love all your relatives at the zoo.
The 14th approaches and roses deplete, you may be poor but I live on the street
I am wacky, you too sweet, on Valentines Day we are in for a wild treat!
The definition of wacky in the 2 inch thick Australian Oxford Concise dictionary is: crazy, left-handed. Ahh, I am right handed so I proudly meet 50% of the criteria. I am a tad disappointed with the conciseness of the definition (despite the apologetic nature of the title) so to the thesaurus I retreat.
I should have known this would be a waste of time. I have to resort to the synonym of crazy (which goes to prove something!). I am so obsessed with clarifying this word that I don't have time to overanalyse--another crazy, fruitless pastime of mine.
Roget's thesaurus is as satisfying as an attentive lover after a long break; the long lost cousin of wacky is insane, mad, disordered, unsound and abnormal.
So all I have to do is brain storm, fantasise, come up with some lunacy, I can run amuck, be absolutely raving mad, fanatical and even delusionary in my selection of ideas for Valentine's Day. This article is perfect for those with a screw loose. No joy is lost on me, romance has no place in this article. My imagination is about to be let off the leash.
Here are my top ten wacky ideas to test the commitment and resilience of your partner or potential partner. For those who are ready, willing and able to handle obscure Valentine's activity ideas.
1. Mechanical Bucking Bill Rides
These can be hired like jumping castles. Imagine your partners surprise to come home to one of these set up in the driveway! For the competitive type, they include electronic time clocks for scoring. Get bucked, spun and land on the inflatable rodeo pit. There are other variations such as mechanical snowboard and surfboard. For a bucking good time, contact Planet Entertainment.
2. Manpower Australia
I just thought this would be really fun. Check out the abs--whoa. It will sort out the dispositions and insecurities of your male partner. Sure it could have been a female revue but that wouldn't be much fun would it? I'm writing this article so I get to choose! You might need to spend a considerable amount of time pouring/pawing over the website to make sure that this would appeal to you. These guys aren't just sex objects – take Alex for instance (who wouldn't?) his secret talent is that he can Roman ride if given a stock whip in both hands, please. Check out Manpower for more.
3. Get A Gorilla Gram
You can book a Gorilla Gram online and have them turn up wherever you please and sing the message you write. This would certainly change the mood at work. Not into animals, you could order a fat-a-gram or strip a gram. .
3. Try Tandem Skydiving
Experience the thrills and excitement of freefall skydiving without the worry or having to learn the skills of skydiving. In other words go along for the adrenaline-pumping ride and have the adventure of your life. There are dozens of companies conducting Tandem Skydiving adventures. See Red Balloon for a range of experiences.
4. Create A Horror Movie Prank
This is a very inexpensive night. Choose a very scary movie and settle in on the couch. Plan for a friend to turn off all the power at a scary point during the movie. Tell your partner you will have a look at the metre box and scream when outside and hide around the corner. Their reaction will determine whether they are your true valentine willing to risk their life for you! Beware: It might also scare your partner off.
5. Try Acupuncture For Two
Agreed, acupuncture is not for everyone but it has to be better with a friend. I fainted when I went but it certainly helped my bowel problem. If you believe the movies people faint at the drop of a hat, needles or not.
The foundation of Chinese acupuncture is the belief in an energy force called Qi ( 'chee'). Acupuncture is designed to restore health. Luckily, you don't have to believe in Qi to feel the effects.
An acupuncturist may also use Cupping which is a strong suction designed to bring Qi and blood to the acupuncture point. The effects of cupping on me looked like I had been used for ball target practice. It's not for the faint hearted. But you don't live twice so worth trying.
6. Be a Fire Swallower
Believe it or not this is taught throughout the world. In the first instance, dances are taught with non-fire equipment. That's taking the fun out of it but I suppose all everyone has to start somewhere and it'd be a bit off putting if you ended up in the emergency ward. This activity gives new meaning to burn for your art. Don't not try this at home.
7. Walk on Fire
Believe it or not you can also meet your burning desires by taking fire-walking lessons. It seems ironic that traditionally this dangerous activity was considered a healing process (burnt feet souls excluded). If you can master this you can have the mindset to do anything. This may be the real tester for love and marriage… after firewalking nothing could be that bad.
8. Enrol in cheer leading classes
With no experience necessary, apparently there is a squad for everyone. You can learn how to cheer, lead, stunt, tumble and dance. These are surely handy attributes for you and your beau.
9. Mud Wrestle
I thought this could be fun but an extensive search finds plenty of videos but not many 'real' opportunities. I suppose a bit of dirt and water in the backyard could do the trick. It presents a bit of a problem for clean freaks though, so why not improvise? What about jelly wrestling or bathing in a small blow up pool? After a good hard think I couldn't think of any other exercises that could also be dessert. Strawberry would be nice! Start boiling the jug and run a hot bath for later because if your hunger is satisfied you might be sticky.
If you are not into red roses (too prickly and costly) or boxed chocolates (too fattening), don't care for soppy; promise you everything cards (unachievable and downright deceptive). If you'd rather have a bit of dirty, outrageous fun, maybe you're up for some of these ideas. Wacky? Tantalising? Wonderful? You decide.
These ideas are so crazy, they might just work. This year, don't be predictable. If you dare, put a little wackiness into Valentine's Day. True they may be senseless, wild and anti-romantic but they promise to be heart pounding.