There's all different shapes and sizes in this world and that's a great thing. I myself am one of them. One of the small ones, the type you see in McDonalds eating a lot and making all the ladies jealous. Ain't no love handles to grab on this piece o' meat.
At birth I came out legs first causing great alarm amongst the doctors who believed my mother to be the first woman giving birth to a chicken. The rest of me followed and they realised their mistake, my mother was the first woman to give birth to a toothpick.
And so it's remained but 'not for long' (or so I told myself 18 months ago when joining a gym). Time to bulk up, press heavy, chisel rock, bust shirts.
Once that didn't happen I had to alter my approach and adapt to gym life as one who uses approximately an eighth of the equipment (that being everything below twenty kilograms). So how do you make the gym a place you belong when you're settling for the minimum? Easy.
The golden rule: Fade gently into your own routine. Do what you need to and hit your goals without stretching the limits too far. Any hint of an 'effort grunt' from the sick bird lifting weights in the corner and heads will turn. When people are watching all your weights double in...well, weight.
If you're not the biggest unit in the hot house then don't try to be. I may have puffed my chest once or twice in a brand spanking new 2XU singlet only to round a corner and see the same singlet being pushed to the limit by a chest more in proportion with Hagrid than the gentleman it adorned. I generously stepped aside as he thundered past, his slipstream causing my singlet to billow in the wind.
Try some classes. If thrashing iron in front of the mirror isn't making the most of your membership fee then enjoy the benefits of a good 'ol body pump or spin class. Yet to try Zumba, but every instructor with a plastic smile and scent for easy money seems to enjoy it so why not?
Don't be rude, be nice and respectful. If you weigh over one hundred and twenty kilograms and walk around looking like you might punch a wall just to work out the bones in your fist, it doesn't give you the right to snot on the gym floor. Sure no one's going to attempt to vocally reprimand you for it in case you decide on their face for the fist work out but surely that's no excuse.
Finally, enjoy it for what it is. Heading to the gym isn't all about becoming someone you'd stereotype in the street as a 'meathead'. Remember, Bill Gates is skinny. Not sure how that forms an argument, you can do that part for yourself.
NB: The above image is not me)
So hopefully this has offered you some tips to take with you the next time you're looking to shred fibres, as long as you're happy doing what you're doing then all the rest falls into place. Sort of like how I fall about the place when attempting a ninety kilogram squat.
You could be that image if you went to the gym more often
By Anonymous Friday, 30th of September @ 12:25 am
It is a fallacy that if you go to the gym more often you will get bigger. you really should be resting your muscles after the workout for a few days. Back and Shoulders on Monday and Thursday, Arms and legs on Tuesday and Friday, with Chest and cardio on Wednesday and Saturdays. Leaving Sunday for enjoying the finer things in life, like theatre, bike riding, paintball or just some good old fashion volunteering at a meditation centre for stress ball squeezers.
Skinny men don't belong at the gym. They belong in my lunch. They can be the meat between my two slices of wholegrain and rye bread. I eat skinny man meat.