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The Great Cake War - Which Cake Will Win?

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by xinjxnax (subscribe)
Published January 22nd 2013
The Biggest Hitting Cakes in a Grizzly Showdown

Everyone loves cake, but this has only served to intensify the rivalry between the most loved cakes this planet has to offer. The lust for the top spot amongst these sponge contenders has evolved through our constant picking and choosing, some are left to whither in the dark hole of mediocrity, whilst the others are chosen and consumed at a glorious rate.

The day has come when the overall winner must be decided, when the cakes themselves face the burning ray of scrutiny in a bid to decide who will be the crowned the top cake.

The Contenders

The Victoria Sponge

The jack of all trades when it comes to this heroic product of baking. The Victoria Sponge is enjoyed by many a cake lover.

The jam and cream combination between two slabs of beautifully buttery sponge serves this contender well in terms of the rankings. This cake boasts and elegant nature yet reaches out to its adoring fans with a humble taste and appearance, perhaps its simplicity could be seen as a weakness when facing off against the other mighty heroes in this ugly war, but when push comes to shove the Victoria Sponge will stand strong in the rankings.

The Chocolate Cake

The fierce brawler of the cake world, the mighty Chocolate cake has no fear and no shame.

chocolate cake
Wikimedia Commons

The richness of this contender creates a significant divide amongst those who love and those who hate it. It is a chocoholic's dream and this brings with it a pack of loyal supporters who will only help to spur this baking behemoth on to victory. Only time will tell if it becomes too rich and too greedy for its own good. Alas, the Chocolate Cake stands a fair chance in this war.

Battenberg Cake

The runt of the cake group for many, as the Battenberg has a much smaller group of followers to support it.

Wikimedia Commons

This sweet piece of sponge is shrouded in mystery. It boasts a marzipan armour which only hides a box of bakery tricks in the form of coloured sponge and jam. These are tricks that may serve this less loved cake well in the war, again, only time will tell what fate has in store for the Battenberg.

Black Forest Cake

This cake is definitely not a lie, it boasts an outstanding arsenal and is certainly one of the most feared competitors in the war of the cakes.

black forest
Wikimedia Commons

The layers of chocolate and whipped cream make even the Chocolate cake look like a kitten. Topped with cherries and yet more chocolate and cream it is able to pull off a regal elegance whilst intimidating its foes with a towering appearance and array of weaponry. The Black Forest will certainly be one to watch but the question still remains as to if it has what it takes to become victorious.

The Verdict

After all is said and done, after jam has been shed and tattered cake and topping lies strewn across the battlefield, we have ourselves a winner. A timeless classic, a cake so elegant yet so simple.

The Victoria cake is the victorious sponge in what was the biggest baking catastrophe of the ages. Supported and enjoyed by many this culinary delight will go on for years to come as the greatest cake of all time.
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Why? To settle the issue of the greatest cake
When: 2013 A.D
Where: Kitchen
Cost: The lives of many good cakes
Your Comment
Simply superlative, Simon,
by Dave Walsh (score: 4|11307) 2995 days ago
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