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Get Your Unicorn Questing Licence

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by Shannon Meyerkort (subscribe)
Writer. Storyteller. Mother. Find out more at shannonmeyerkort.com/ or join me at fundraisingmums.com.au
Published June 3rd 2013
Yes, They ARE Real But You Need a Licence to Catch One
Do you know how to catch a unicorn?

unicorn
You can catch your very own unicorn (this one is a bit mangy)


Bows and arrows - if you're that sort of person - are only allowed during a few days in October, but otherwise the methods to use include sweet talking and iambic pentameter.

Let's try:

Come here my friend with one big shiny horn
Please don't leave that mess upon my lawn.

While my dubious poetry might not be the best way to win the heart of a unicorn, you may have better luck if you are granted a Unicorn Questing Licence. Available from the Lake Superior State University (Mythical Division) you can apply online for the right to quest for unicorns.

Unicorn Questing Licence
You can be granted your very own Unicorn Questing Licence


Before you mutter that unicorns aren't real, don't forget they were mentioned a number of times in the bible, and have been part of our lexicon for thousands of years.

There are certain rules for Questers such as the law against the use of artificial light (so don't bother using the flash-light app on your iPhone) and you must pin your licence above your heart with a sprig of rosemary.

There is even a recommended list of items required for your questing kit including a large envelope, pinking shears and small flask of cognac.

The Unicorn Hunters were established in 1971 by the late W.T Rabe, who was also responsible for the annual List of Words Banished from the Queen's English for Mis-Use, Over-Use and General Uselessness. In 2013, banished words and phrases include 'fiscal cliff', 'trending' and 'bucket list' where 2012's included 'baby bump' and 'man cave'. Click here for other lists of Banished Words.

You can always turn your unicorn into a pair of slippers


So grab the nearest virgin (as they are a great help when searching for unicorns) and download your Unicorn Questing Licence. Remember, only those pure of heart can catch a unicorn if you are guilty of a mortal sin, they're quite likely to run you through.

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Why? Who doesn't want their very own unicorn?
When: quest for Unicorns any day except Valentines Day
Where: Everywhere
Cost: Free
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