I suggest you start your fruit golf expedition with a nice and easy par three. Tee off with an apple and feel your frustrations melt away as it explodes at the bottom of your swing. Now examine the remains to tally your score, if you can locate a piece bigger than two thirds of your original apple you have scored three, if the piece bigger than a third of the original apple you score two, anything smaller than a third and you have managed to hit a hole in one!
As the fruit becomes more difficult to smash the par becomes higher. An orange is typically more difficult to break apart than an apple so it is considered a par four. A lemon is harder still, which makes it a par 5. Use your judgment to rank the piece of fruit and divide it up into its par, size up the largest piece amongst the remains and give yourself a score.
You can also create your own course by experimenting with strange and exotic fruit and veg. Once you feel you have caused enough mess, tally up your score and see how you went on your particular course. If you feel that the scoring system has become too complicated you can always just have a driving range session and swing to your hearts content. Try using an egg, its a personal favorite of mine. The great part is that the mess will decompose within days creating a great fertilizer for your lawn.
So what are you waiting for? Grab a fruit bowl and start swinging!
WARNING: Unripe or stone fruit may result in property damage or injuries.