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Etiquette When Visiting Santa

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by Julian Wagner (subscribe)
Julian Wagner - Brisbane writer and musician c/- Wagner Musicians and Promotions Pty Ltd (ABN 50161875261) which provides string quartets and other classical musicians for weddings and other special events and promotes and reviews concerts
Published December 3rd 2012
Don't be naughty this Christmas, be nice
Santa and a Christmas Wish. Image by Jacob Windham from Wikipedia.

Spare a thought when visiting Santa at a shopping centre or the like as whilst it's the season to be jolly, Santa can have a full on job with so many Yuletide youngsters, as every adult could well imagine.

Whilst the movie Bad Santa (2003) clearly gives an insight into 'don'ts' on the part of Santa rather than 'dos', a few hopefully helpful 'don'ts' on the part of your juvenile 'bundles of joy' can make Santa's role a breeze.

Without wanting to sound like the Christmas Grouch - put yourself in Santa's boots. Of course most parents and kids are great with Santa. Yet it's not an easy job! Here are some handy Santa Etiquette hints and a well intended word or more from Santa world.

1) Tugging Santa's beard isn't 'the go' (after real beard does exist!).

2) Vomiting on Santa is not ideal though kids can be kids and unsettled tummies and sickness can suddenly strike, or is it erupt? Too much for lunch, for instance, should be avoided. For sheer example's sake, over indulgence with 'McHappy Meals' (no offence to McDonalds), can erupt into 'Unhappy Meals' and can also be a bit on the nose for poor old Rudolph!

3) Children who are sick, perhaps with a red nose akin to Rudolph, can't be cured by Santa even if he'd like to work miracles (of course, Santa knows that as with 'rule' (ii) such things including being sick can suddenly happen on such a big day out).

4) Those who yell or scream in Santa's ear i.e. what they want for Christmas, might very well get the message through, yet industrial deafness cum concussion might lead to memory loss, confusion, and of course, deafness. Alas, the desired gift might not appear under the Christmas tree come Christmas day.

To pause here, Santa Claus is well aware that some babies or toddlers might simply just cry (bless them) when handed over to Santa for a photo opportunity. Why wouldn't they? Let's face it, a stranger dressed in North Pole savvy gear at the height of a Brisbane summer and whose face is hidden in a cloud of white, coarse hair is something which would probably freak anyone out if you didn't know he was Santa!

OK, back to some 'rules', 'observations', Santa Claus 'clauses', call them what you will.

5) Pushing in line or jumping the Santa visiting queue akin to badly behaved reindeer is just naughty (not nice). Santa-visiting 'queue rage' just isn't Christmas;

6) Repeatedly visiting Santa with the hope of getting another free gift (as sometimes occurs) is also out, as is telling the kind-hearted old bloke that there's a need for a sleigh load of such free gifts to pass on to all the kids at Mother Hubbard's abode or the like.

7) Kids, of course, can be ever so sweet in wanting to be Santa's Helpers though many hands do not always make light work.

8) Santa Land at a shopping centre is typically not a child minding facility even if it's the coolest place to be.

Oh, almost there with two (2) more to make it ten (10), though these are for adults.

9) Adults who insist on sitting on Santa's lap after a few too many 'Christmas spirits' or other intoxicants may upset the secret Santa security staff.

10) Worse still, overly unruly behaviour will have you answering to Mrs Claus.

Well there you have it, and again it is hoped that the tips above don't sound like edicts from a Christmas Grouch at this most wonderful time of the year.

Santa simply says naughty is out and nice, all year round, is always in. So make everyone's Christmas, including Santa's, a joy. Father Christmas, after all, doesn't want to spend the post Christmas period with PTSD (Post Traumatic Santa Disorder). Merry Christmas!

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Why? Because Santa doesn't visit if you're naughty.
Where: At a shopping centre near you.
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