What is the Etiquette Regarding Kissing in Melbourne

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Parisians love it and can go up to four times. Britons rarely do it while Americans prefer a hug instead. It is, of course, the humble peck, a greeting that has made fools of even the coolest of felines.

Social trend has often dictated what we can and can't do when kissing or embracing. A school in New Jersey has placed a ban on students hugging each other ; one can only imagine the repercussions if they get caught fondling at the back of the oval.

In Melbourne the rules are more relaxed. Still, there is endless confusion on what constitutes proper etiquette. Do we kiss on the right or left cheek? Is it acceptable in the workplace? Is the legendary dancefloor pash nearing its end?

The below looks at everyday situations and discusses what's the most appropriate course of 'action'.

1 – At work

Many experts believe that greeting co-workers with a kiss on the cheek can be misconstrued as a sexual act. The argument is that such behaviour does not fall into "business practice" and should be confined to a social environment.

Of course, getting romantically intertwined with a fellow employee is also fraught with danger, sometimes leading to bizarre consequences . Still, if no-one ever hooked up at the Christmas Party, what would we have to gossip about in the months afterwards?


2 – At a bar

In the right context and at an appropriate time of day, kissing still holds a place in Melbourne's bars and clubs. This ranges from a quick cheek-to-cheek hello between friends to the dancefloor kiss. The latter should be restricted to a pleasant locking of lips. There's nothing worse than bumping into a couple who are trying to find each other's wisdom teeth with their tongues.

3 – In public

Here's where the waters get a little murky.

For example, seeing a couple openly kissing along the banks of the Yarra is uncomfortable for all concerned. Holding hands – finger-lock or palm-to-palm - is a fine alternative to showing affection for one another. Even a kiss on the cheek is acceptable. Anything more tends to drift towards awkward territory.

4 – At home

In this instance, the saying "what people do behind closed doors is their business" is more than apt.

Let's face it, some folks in Melbourne get up to some pretty crazy stuff (so crazy that we don't need to go into detail). As long as it's out of sight and inaudible to the next door neighbours, Melbournians are entitled to do as they wish.


5 – Occasions where passionate public displays of affection are allowable

There are some occasions that need a passionate act to compliment the spirit of the moment. These include;

- a successful marriage proposal
- the birth of a son or daughter
- a lotto win
- a successful peak-hour run
- a perfect game in bowling

Have any further thoughts on kissing etiquette in Melbourne? Have your say below.

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