1. Leave them at home where possible. I have three kids, so I can say that. But when you are unable to bribe a family member, neighbour, or spotty high school student, I suggest you try the following in order to survive your night out.
Be prepared for anything. Baby wipes are your friend
2. Avoid any restaurant where the stemware on the table costs the same as your monthly mortgage repayment.
3. A phone call in advance to find out about pram access, high chairs, kids' menu and change facilities can be the difference between a comfortable meal, and eating a steak with a toddler on your lap and changing the baby in the back of the car.
4. If you have fussy children, sneak their favourite food in your handbag and feed them under the table rather than spend money on a kids' meal that you will end up eating yourself.
10. Repeat after me: A ten-course degustation with matching wine. Bad idea. A meal that can be prepared and eaten within an hour. Good idea. Chinese, pasta, pizza, burgers... You will be much more likely to end with all family members still alive and on speaking terms.