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Published October 20th 2012
Don't be the jealous girlfriend or boyfriend anymore
Jealously - It's such a powerful emotion and can make you go from content to boiling point in 1.5 seconds. We are so caught up on the actual event, situation or thought that made us jealous, to think rationally. It brings out the worst in us and turns us into people we aren't.
I remember in High School, I had a serious boyfriend and I was new to relationships, matched with low self-esteem and teenager angst, that I would get jealous over the smallest things, like if he accepted an add from a girl on MySpace (good ol' Myspace). In the end we didn't last and when I came out of the relationship, I realised I had some serious growing up to do.
I can't say I'm perfect now, I still get jealous over stupid things, but I've learned to control it and think "hey, wait a minute, is this worth getting jealous over?
Common forms of jealously are
Friendship Jealously She has a better, more high paying job then you. Her boyfriend buys her flowers and chocolates every week, without fail! She looks like Gisele Bundchen in a bikini.
She is your friend for a reason – she is awesome, funny and trustworthy. I'm sure while you're busy getting jealous over her skill to pull off leather pants and a tank top, she is getting just as jealous, about you're Kim Kardashian curves. We all want what we can't have.
If your friend does land that dream job and you are still struggling in the job market, be happy for her. Don't take your own frustrations out on someone that loves you! Ask advice as to how she got there or use her connections to help you out.
Her boyfriend is wonderful, do you know how good that is for you? Think about all that time saved, talking about boys that just aren't that interested in her and now you have plenty of time to talk about more important things, like the latest episode of Gossip Girl.
This form of jealously can hit a little harder and deeper than any other. He has a major celebrity crush, stares at other girls when you are out together, has multiple girls as friends or a new hot chick has started up at his work and is very friendly towards him.
All of these things suck when you like/love someone, but it's about trust and understanding that will get you past it.
Now look at yourself for a moment, I bet you have an innocent perv at Zac Efron when he appears on screen and in magazines, or got excited when you heard Robert Pattinson might be on the market again. Human nature means you and your partner will most likely find other people attractive and that's okay. Plus Hollywood is all about fantasy, so no need to worry about celebrity crushes.
If he stares at other girls when you are out occasionally, that's alright. Sometimes you can't help but look if Double D's are walking past you, but if he does it regularly, sit down and have a chat about it, because that's not very fair on you.
Girls as friends can be a slight worry, but if you trust your man and have been around them together and see that it's just a mate to mate relationship, then let it be. He will appreciate you more for being so cool about it
A hot new girl at his work can send off warning bells, but think about why that is? If you know he loves you, what's the problem? Let their work friendship play out and I'm sure it will remain just that, a work friendship. If you are noticing signs that lead to it being a bit more serious, then address it fast, because it's not worth the stress.
Your parents seem to love her/him more than you, everything they do is amazing and they can never do any wrong and whenever she or he goes out, they get loads more attention then you.
How to overcome it
Talk to your parents about it, I bet they don't even know what they are doing is hurting you and I doubt they are doing it intentionally. Everyone is unique in their own way, if he/she is better at something then you, I can assure you this works the other way round too. Family should always come first, so let go of those jealous feelings and focus on being a more positive and loving sibling.
Jealously triggers different reactions in everyone, but I hope this has helped you cope a little better if the situations above were happening to you. Life is wonderful and too short to worry about silly things. Feel confident within yourself and these feelings will melt away.