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10 Crazy Things You Do As A New Mum

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by Sarah Says (subscribe)
I am a marketing and communications consultant and freelance writer. Living on the Gold Coast in Australia. Check out my website or follow on Twitter @WENGoldCoast
Published August 10th 2015
With Some Hints & Tips To Help
When you become a mum, your whole life changes and things will never be the same again. It can take a while to adjust, and you do and learn some crazy things along the way.

You start to become a little bit of a stalker - in the nicest possible way. You watch them when they are sleeping, you need to know what they are doing at all times, you take photos of them without them knowing, you do secret spy's on them when they are playing, you hold a cuddle for as long as possible and sometimes you sniff them. I am guilty as charged on all of these and would no doubt end up with a restraining order if done to another adult, but with my daughter I love those perfect moments.

Baby, new mums, parent advice, tips for new mums, help for mums, toddlers, top tips, crazy things you do as a new mum
Sleeping Beauty

Hear Things
You start to hear phantom cries - you hear them crying, rush to them but when you check they are sound asleep. You check the baby monitor about 20 times too - just incase its broken, or been stolen or something. This means that even though you finally have a break you are up and down more than at a step class. I also developed a very close bond with the mute button - much to my partners annoyance - forever muting the TV or music only for there to be total silence - but a plot, joke, goal or announcement missed.

Cry - A Lot
Oh the tears, oh so many tears, about well just the strangest and craziest things. You cry at adverts - especially those with children and animals, you cry at sad news but also at happy news. I even cried - and I mean real crying - when a lady off the morning show left, and I didn't really like her or watch the show that often.

Advice: Try not to dwell on it, it's fine to cry and have an emotional release - talk to friends and family often and join a few mums groups till you find one that suits. It's a huge relief to know everyone feels the same.

Use Up Your Storage Capacity
You take so many photos and videos, you manage to get to full storage capacity on your phone after just a couple of months. Plus with babies you need to take around ten to ensure one good one - I have so many photos and it's really important to edit as you go, at the end of each day if possible, otherwise you end up with a major task. That way when you transfer to a hard drive or computer (you must back up) you are only keeping the good ones. I did not do this, now the editing task feels huge and I keep avoiding it.

Tip: Start a "every year" photo with you and baby - I took a selfie with my daughter on my birthday and that has become my project to take one, same time and same pose each year. But you can't recreate the early ones so start now.

Baby, new mums, parent advice, tips for new mums, help for mums, toddlers, top tips, crazy things you do as a new mum
My Every Year Photo 2015

Develop a Split Personality
You almost become two people - the old you and the new you. You desperately miss your freedom and how much easier everything was, but then in contrast wouldn't swap your life now or have it any other way. You really want a break and a rest, but then can't stand to be away from them - you even miss them when they are sleeping. I try to have a regular once a week, afternoon or morning out if possible. Being away is actually really important for their development, and also very much so for your sanity.

Important: Try to ignore the guilt fairy who seems to pop up every time you sit down or take some time out - yes there is stuff to do, yes it can wait.

Become a Singing, Dancing Circus Performer
You are required without any formal notice or training to become a dancer, singer, juggler, block building specialist, puppeteer, actor, ball player, hula hooper, acrobat, bubble blower, impressionist and much more. Your child expects you to be an expert in pretty much every single entertainment discipline - and we want to prove them right. Plus you suddenly are able to operate most things with one hand - the other carrying a child, shopping bags, baby bag and a pram. Actually if I'd have known I was this talented before, my life could have gone in a very different direction. Mums should be known as the thirty threat.

Tip: Find something which is fun that you can all do. She loves music so we would have jam sessions - with my partner on guitar and me and my daughter on drums and percussion.

Be That Facebook Poster
You post loads of cute and happy photos, all the time, of your baby and are massively proud of it. I remember before my daughter I would see peoples proud baby and child photos and I thought, "well I won't do that". Of course I did and quite right too, having a baby is a major life event and let's face it many people post endlessly about lesser events and things. What I didn't realise pre-baby is that she became my world, so of course I wanted to share updates and photos, especially with those living far away.

Baby, new mums, parent advice, tips for new mums, help for mums, toddlers, top tips, crazy things you do as a new mum
Can't Resit Sharing Photos

Become a Poop Connoisseur
This is a skill I would happily return. As a mum you become a poop expert - what is even sadder is that you genuinely have an interest in it and discuss it often, sometimes with strangers. My partner would arrive home from work and it would be the first thing we would discuss. I can tell if my daughter has had a nappy explosion from the next room, my partner however will be oblivious, even if she is sat on him. I don't know whether to be proud or disgusted.

Tip: Always have spare clothes with you and buy nappies slightly on the bigger side.

Develop Ninja Skills
Babies seem to have a 6th sense about when you move away or leave the room, and promptly wake up. So when moving a baby or leaving the room of a sleeping baby, you need a very special set of skills. Skills that mean you can move unnoticed and make no sound - ninja skills. I mastered the slide off the bed and crawl, the crab walk through an almost closed door and the 'like a tablecloth' move arm away and replace with teddy manoeuvre quite early on. Impressive skills which you only discover after you are a mum.

Top Tip: Clear a pathway in the bedroom to avoid stepping on or kicking anything, also WD40 the door hinges so there are no creeks and squeaks. Plus check all windows and doors are propped open so there are no sudden slamming noises. I have had all these happen and wake her and it's so frustrating.

Become The Green Eyed Monster
As strange as it sounds you become slightly jealous of anyone they like or connect with - I would feel a pang of jealousy when she held her arms to someone and would worry our bond was weakening. When she first went to nursery, after a few weeks she loved it and had a favourite teacher. When on our day she said she wanted to go, I promptly went out and bought arts and crafts and cake mix and vowed to give her the best day ever. Silly really as of course she loves her time with me, plus that level of play and entertainment just isn't sustainable. Being social and around others is really important, even if we do secretly dislike it.

Baby, new mums, parent advice, tips for new mums, help for mums, toddlers, top tips, crazy things you do as a new mum
Cuddles With Her Teacher

It's a huge life change and so much to get used to, but it's so worth it and I wouldn't have it any other way.
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