Too much tertiary education... Former performer/wrestler, teacher, scientist; Published author & Father... Want to be a writer if I grow up...
Published January 24th 2023
Australia can be a funny place, even musically
I was debating what to do about Australia Day this year. I have friends who think it is an important day of celebration, others who think it's just New South Wales imposing themselves on the rest of us, and some who call it Invasion Day. But I did want to do something for the day.
So, what I've decided is to find some funny songs about Australia and aspects of Australian culture by Australian artists. I hope these are humorous and are about things that are recognisably Australian. I also tried to find songs that were not overly rude but failed in a couple of cases. That is why there is no Rodney Rude here. Sorry in advance.
Now, I am the first to admit that humour is subjective, but I hope you'll find something here to tickle the funny bone. One song per artist, one version of each song, no Christmas songs, nothing that's racist. I also struggled to find the years some of these songs were released, so I've left that detail out, and these are just in title order.
Oh, and the first one is not a song but a stand up comedy performance. However, it was the number one single in Australia for seven weeks and was the top selling single in Australia in 1983.
Some of these may be offensive, so you have been warned. Sorry in advance.
'Australiana' by Austen Tayshus NSFW!!
And this is the spoken-word comedy piece that so dominated Australian charts. Is it a song? Technically, no, but that charting performance puts it here. I own it on the old 12-inch record because I reckon everybody did at some point in 1983. Some of the humour might not fly today, and the uncensored version has more drug references than you can shake a stick at, but for the most part, it still stands up today as a fun bit of wordplay.
'Bloke' by Chris Franklin NSFW!
Take Meredith Brooks' 'Bitch' and turn it into an anthem for a certain type of Australian male who is all too common in the country – that's what Franklin did. I know a lot of guys this could be about, and am proud to call a number of them mates.
'Come To Australia' by Scared Weird Little Guys
A song about the glory of Australia – its deadly wildlife. And they don't even scratch the surface. Funny in all the right ways. On the same topic, there is also Australia's Deadliest Animals by Van Vuuren Bros. This looks at the animals that want to kill us, but that that's better than living in the USA with all their guns. The concept is triggering, the language is really crude, and so I am not going to put a link to here, but if you are not easily offended, then this is a fun song to track down.
'Duncan' by Slim Dusty
Having a beer with various people, this is a quintessential Australian song. I was debating whether to use this one or The Pub With No Beer', but I prefer this one, so we are having beers with Duncan, Colin, Kevin and all the rest.
'I Made A Hundred In The Backyard At Mum's' by Greg Champion
Let's go to Greg Champion and his radio-friendly sense of humour. This song is about the sort of thing that so many people like to brag about – scoring that elusive century in a game of backyard cricket. Really well done.
'I've Been Everywhere' by Lucky Starr
I have this song on 45, inherited from my father. This is the first version (yes, before Johnny Cash did his American one), and Lucky Starr also did Japanese and other countries. Comedy or novelty song – the call is yours, but hearing Starr go through the uniquely Australian names of towns and locales in that hundred mile an hour voice is still incredible.
'Marvellous' by The 12th Man
A song about the 1990 cricket commentary team sung by impersonations of the 1990 cricket commentary team. Maybe of its time – who born after 1980 would understand who these people even are? – this is still a great little track that I bought on Cassingle back in the day…
'Old Man Emu' by John Williamson
John Williamson, the Australian songwriter who makes everyone feel like they've been living in the bush for years, has been a stalwart of Australian music for a long time. He has a way with words and stories, but he started his career with this bizarre novelty song.
'Pub Feed' by The Chats
This is not designed to be a comedy song, but (like a few songs by The Chats) to show a slice of Australian life. However, hearing a bunch of guys singing this at the pub a few months ago, I realised it is not to be taken seriously.
'Redback On The Toilet Seat' by Slim Newton
The perennial fear of many an Australian, going to the toilet and being bitten by some eight-legged critter hiding under the rim. Never has such a realistic fear been put so musically.
And there we are – ten comedy Australian songs about Australia. Because if we can't make fun of ourselves and our country, then what sort of people are we?
