Faux philosophical aside: are these the depths to which modern religion has sunk?)
Who the hell cares, because Cinema in the Cemetery, as it's been dubbed, is free. So why not take your partner (that's right – the one you've been living in sin with) and make a night (pun intended) of it? And if you can break some other commandments while you're at it – such as bearing false witness, or coveting your neighbour's ox – even better.
For those who may not know, Night of the Living Dead is a trailblazing zombie classic from 1968, containing just as much graphic violence and gratuitous toplessness as one would expect from a church flick. If you haven't seen it yet, there's something wrong with you.
Make sure to dress warmly and to bring a blanket to sit on. Feel free to bring a hamper too, although food and drink will be on sale. And don't be afraid that the Good Lord may seek to punish moviegoers by raining on their parade – in the event of inclement weather, proceedings will be shifted inside. St John's 1, God 0.