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The 3 Best Public Toilets in Melbourne

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by PaperColossus (subscribe)
Published April 5th 2012
The 3 Best Toilets in Melbourne.

The ambience of an art gallery, the sound retention of a recording studio, a calming warmed stone floor. Is that panpipe music or Angels singing? This is a church, a chamber of solitude, an oasis from the storm. My pants are down but my spirit soars. Great toilets of Melbourne, I salute you.

Australian Centre for Contemporary Art (ACCA) - 111 Sturt Street, South Melbourne

"The real art's in 'ere"

The international Artists and their inspiring work - constantly changing, evolving, challenging the boundaries of modern life and lifting the soul upwards to meet it's potential – is merely an entrée to the back bone of this institution: the toilet.

The deafening openings packed with familiar looking strangers, bustling for the bar and occasionally glancing at the work on the walls, is contrasted by a scene of serenity and grace: a work of art for one, behind a small lock on a large door – this toilet is worth the wait, the low light, warmed floor, immaculate tiling, ample paper- it soothes the mind. The flush of this bathroom whispers to you and you alone - "Goodbye my friend. Shall we never meet again, travel well"

The Sofitel - 25 Collins Street - Atrium Bar - Level 35

"Soar like an Eagle, wash your hands like a Gentleman"

Ever wanted to ride Willy Wonka's glass elevator? Well, here is your chance to ride the next best thing – The Sofitel's porcelain express - 35 stories high in the Atrium bar.

Look out at the commoners milling about the streets like ants, doing their business behind closed door all those stories below.

Although the down side to dining here is that a salad sandwich costs $25, you may not wish to use the toilets to try and increase your value for money. However, the feeling of soaring like an eagle is completely priceless.

Forum Theatre – Flinders Street, Melbourne


Oh the finery, the long stone staircase that descends into the pre-commode smoking room adorned with hat racks and coat pegs hand carved of deep rich mahogany, then through to the spacious activity zone, this place feels like Narnia.

The space of this bathroom rivals most modern houses: The high ceilings, the floor to ceiling cubicle doors and the vintage fittings take you back to that time in your past-life when you were a King or Frank Sinatra.

Notable Mention

Meredith Music Festival - Supernatural Amphitheatre - He-pee - Pink Flamingo Bar.

"Look at me I'm over here! You can see the half of me that isn't doing a wee. I'm also, literally, watching a concert."
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Why? You deserve it, Handsome.
When: When Nature Calls.
Cost: Free
Your Comment
Check the male toilets in the gin palace and both sexes at croft institute.
by Jerome (score: 2|111) 3088 days ago
The Sofitel - 25 Collins Street - Atrium Bar - Level 35

"Soar like an Eagle, wash your hands like a Gentleman"

I have taken all my family and friends from overseas to this loo with a view.

I have been known to use the men's loo when the queue is way too long at the ladies. I usually call out 'Close your eyes lady coming in!' I get a laugh and just continue. Have done this in many countries and it seems to be a trend that we woman have to few loos and then we have to pay for the little bit of paper in the Louvre, Paris, what is with that???
More clean and free loos.
by Francien (score: 1|79) 3067 days ago
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