Best Coffee in Melbourne

Best Coffee in Melbourne

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Posted 2010-10-20 by Anthony Readfollow

How many coffees can one person ingest before literally imploding? This, dear readers, is a question that has haunted my mind from the beginning of time. Well, not that long ago, pretty much from last week. So, bravely going where no man has gone before are:

- Myself: 70kg, 6ft. Thin build, medium coffee tolerance.
- Dylan: 70 kg, 5ft11. Thin build, extreme coffee tolerance.
- Adam: 105 kg, 6ft5. Heavy build, high coffee tolerance.

These three intrepid explorers are testing their limits to bring you the coffee diary of the year, an exploration of some of the finest coffee establishments in Melbourne.

Our story begins here, at Mr. Tulk.

10:47 AM - Mr. Tulk.
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The morning is fresh, and so is the coffee and the service. Unfortunately, some of the worst service you'll get in the CBD, but the coffee makes up for it. A smooth, soft blend, it goes down without a hitch. Problem is, we expect better from our Melbourne cafes. Average food tops it off: come here if you want a fast coffee, not anything special.

11:15 AM - Cafe Stax (16 Little Latrobe St Melbourne)
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One coffee down, and we're expecting better from the next drop off point. Cafe Stax, as we're told, has only one man operate the coffee machine, so no-one messes with it. A promising start. Perfect for students, the quiet surrounds mask the intensity of the coffee. Bitter, super-acidic, and quite astringent. Goes down nicely for a second coffee, but leaves quite an unpleasant aftertaste. Dylan, the token coffee enthusiast among us, is expceting better next time around. No shakes yet, but feeling rather perky.

11:38 AM - Momo Sushi
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A sushi place?, I ask Dylan. Apparently he's friends with the manager. Adam and I are suspicious at best. However, let me say, one of the best coffees I've hard inside the Melbourne area. Fresh, acidic, but light on its feet. The definition of well-made coffee. Robin, chief barista, blends his own coffee mix, and it changes on a regular occurance. Combine the fantastic coffee with damn good sushi (try the crispy chicken) and you have a fine establishment. Shakes? Getting there. Adam informs us of his upcoming coffee freakout. For a big man, coffee sure affects him. And Dylan? Not a sign.

12:08 PM - Seven Seeds
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This joint has a reputation, but does it deliver? On some fronts, yes. For the general blend, you can't go wrong. A caffe latte brims with yummy chocolate flavours, but nothing overrides anything else in the mix. A perfectly fine coffee, although a little underwhelming? Was expecting world-class, blow-me-away blends. Would still drink it every day for the rest of my life, says Adam. Only issue? Not enough tables. We grab the coffees and leave. At this point, walking them off is a good plan. No food plus too much caffeine is starting to equal a sick stomach. The buzz continues. STILL, Dylan has no signs of coffee effects.

12:55 PM - Brunswick East Project
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A bipolar institution. Set in the quiet section of Lygon St, this joint isn't exactly jumping, but the coffee maker certainly is. He recommends the Malawi Single origin for an espresso (for Dylan), and a latte for myself. The coffee are similarily bipolar: Dylan's espresso is intense and flavoursome, whereas the latte is sweet, slightly nutty but not overbearing. Perfect chill coffee. Speaking of chill, the natural light and aesthetic of the place is perfect for reading, study, homework etc. over a coffee. Adam has to stop here, the caffeine is becoming too much. Dylan seems to be feeling the effects: it's time for food.

2:15 PM - Proud Mary (172 Oxford St Collingwood)
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Instant reaction: biggest coffee machine I've seen in my entire life. Dark blue, and almost the size of an entire bar. Impressive. Dylan informs me that this is the only one of its kind in the entire world. Very impressive. Dylan is the only one who can stomach a coffee at the moment, so he has a filtered long black. Smooth, easy, not strong at all but one can feel the caffeine kick. Also, they serve up one of the greatest pork belly sandwiches ever. No joke. Become a local here: it will not disappoint.

4:00 PM - 65 Degrees
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At the point, the hyperactivity has kicked in. We're all very excited to check this joint out. World champion barista = damn good coffee. And it doesn't disappoint. However, maybe we'd had too many by this point, because we were all slightly underwhelmed. Nothing really stood out, but I think that's the point: this is good coffee that one can get every morning without fail. I call it a day at this point, because the tram trip home will be just that: a trip. Dylan and Adam kick on to one or two more.

Implosion awaits.

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192157 - 2023-06-16 03:41:34

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