Hey there people! I'm a Tassie girl living on the Gold Coast. I make my money working in hospitality, but if I could I'd spend all my time writing!
Published September 13th 2012
Steins, style and shots on a stick
By day, the Bavarian Bier Café, under the Oracle Building in Broadbeach, looks like a demure power lunch hot-spot for corporate high flyers in smart suits and shiny shoes. The glossy grey surroundings and high, raftered ceiling give an impression of ultra-modernity. You could be forgiven for thinking nothing more exciting than the odd billion-dollar, multi-national corporation-liquidation deal went down there.
But look closer, my pretties. As the weekend draws nearer, you will see the high, metallic blue bar stools lined up by the sides of the tables, packed in close and jostling together as though nudging each other in anticipation. The polished wooden benches, which gleam softly in the sunlight, look at a glance as comfortable as logs resting peacefully on a forest floor. But when you really look, you will see they are waiting. Waiting to fulfil their true purpose in life, which is to be covered in rapidly emptying stein glasses. To have people leaning over them, towards each other, deep in earnest conversation. Thumping them to make a particularly pertinent point. Collapsing over them in helpless hilarity. Waiting for hands and knees to be brushing underneath them, shivers shuddering spines as skin connects.
At night time, the Bier Café turns into a swanky place for well-dressed people to get tipsy, catch each other's eyes in a sexy manner, and spill steins of beer on themselves. Everyone always seems to be in their most resplendent get-up. Girls in tight patterned dresses with sparkling earrings and boys in tight collared shirts with cuff-links. You won't see any lederhosen here. It is always crammed and difficult to get a seat.
They can't spell beer, but they're good at pouring it. Steins of Lowenbrau cost about $20.00. You feel indestructible when you're holding a stein, and you look hot. Boys, it's a good chance to flex your muscles as you raise its thick, glassy heaviness to your lips. Girls, holding such a big glass in your tiny hand makes you look smaller than you are.
If you order shots, they bring them to you on a stick. A stick of shots! What magic! Prost! Then they ring the bell as you down the contents of your stick, so everybody knows which tables are getting the drunkest.
You can work your drinks (and food if you decide to cheat by eating) on a tab system, where they take your credit card, give you a Bier Café card, and you settle at the end. This makes it feel like you're not spending real money and adds to the magical feeling of the night. By the time you have to meet the bill, you will have had too many steins and shots to be able to read or care about the numbers on it as you attempt your signature.