Six Appliances I Bought But Never Used

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I've made some pretty stupid decisions in my time. Most of these are around stuff I see advertised and come to believe I can't do without. I follow their logic like lamb to the slaughter and eventually find myself sadder, poorer and wiser till the next shiny object shows its pointy head. Read my litany of woes and save yourselves, if it's not too late that is.

Chopper/Slicer

OMG, it's so cute! That was my first thought on seeing this pretty piece of work. No, I didn't just fall for the looks. I saw the nicely shredded, sliced, and chopped vegetables fall neatly into magical prisms before I decided this is just what I needed to take the drudgery out of routine kitchen duty. So, notwithstanding the fact that I already possessed an old faithful chopper that could do all of this, I went ahead and replaced it with this colourful contraption from hell.


What I know now: It's not that easy to set up. You have to choose from a range of dwarf sized attachments depending on how you want your vegetable cut. They are not easy to handle. They cut very small amounts and if you try to put in a bit more, it simply can't cope. Suitable for kids' kitchen games but not when grown-ups in a hurry want to get on with it.

Hair Epilator
This stylish little equipment was supposed to take my body hair away while I was precariously perched at the edge of the bath tub with a silly grin on my face. They swore my boyfriend would have the same brainless smirk when he saw the results. Away I went to get my own hair epilator, paid a small fortune, and couldn't wait to get my legs all silky like they promised. On attempting to use it however, I snarled with pain and threw the evil contraption across the room in sheer terror. Even now I react with fright when I see this weapon of torture masquerading as a beauty aid and given pride of place in store shelves.


What I know now: Epilator hair removal is without exception the most painful way of achieving hairlessness. It is also expensive and inhuman.

Deep Fryer
All I wanted was home made French fries. Deep fryers were supposed to make that happen without any fuss. It was also touted to be the healthy option. Did someone say health? I was out the door and back with this piece of scientific genius that would take the pain and ill-health out of sitting down to glorious golden French fries. But they didn't warn me about the humongous amounts of oil that was required to fry a handful of chips. Nobody told me it would eat up electricity like a hungry lion goes through a poor deer's innards.


What I know now: The electric deep fryer requires you to use huge quantities of oil even to fry small quantities. This leaves you with a huge deep fryer oil disposal problem. It also does not heat the oil high enough to give you crisp fries, especially in the cooler months.

Hair Curler
The wavy hair curler is yet another piece of junk I fell for because of advertisement. The model just ran it through her hair and came out with beautiful loose curls that I normally would have to go get at the salon. It looked as easy as 4, 3, 2 and so I decided I'd bite.


What I know now: Call me clumsy; I just couldn't do it. I could do the hair on either side of my face to some extent, but that was it. My friend said the back of my head looked like Federation Square.

Food Warmer
The food warmer tray seemed a fantastic idea when I saw it in the department store. I hadn't seen any advertisement or even heard about it. It seemed brilliant to be able to leave your plate of food on it and keep it warm till you were ready to eat.


What I know now: Brilliant, yes, but rising electricity costs made me rethink the wisdom of leaving the food warmer tray turned on indefinitely. So, since it's a luxury rather than an absolute necessity I don't use it anymore.

Cast Iron Cookware
It is a fact that Le Creuset cookware is a healthier option than Teflon-coated utensils. For this one reason I decided I was going to get me a couple of these even though I knew it was made of cast iron. I'm not denying that its stylish contours and colours added considerably to the temptation. But alas! I'm no heavy-duty Cinderella-type and restrict my efforts in the kitchen to a strictly need-to-do basis.


What I know now: Creuset cookware is very, very heavy. If you don't pay close attention, food may burn and stick to the bottom of the pan. Have to clean by hand as it does not fit into the dishwasher. However, if you have the muscles Le Creuset is definitely a good idea.

And while that is certainly not a comprehensive list of my not-so-bright impulses, the idea behind this review is that none of these appliances helped improve my life in any way. On the other hand, I lost money, self-esteem, and quite a bit of my wide-eyed naivete where consumerism is concerned.

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