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A Guy's Guide to Online Dating Profiles

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by deletedwriter (subscribe)
An accomplished, well travelled writer and reviewer, Michele resides in Brisbane. Witty and highly articulate, her rivetting reviews show life through the eyes of a highly Gifted Adult viewing a world where she has an IQ in the top 1% of that world.
Published April 26th 2012

There are some very basic things men should know about us women when you are creating an online profile on a dating site. Whilst it has become more common, unless you don't have a car, the fact that you are even on a dating site is already a set back because you can't get around the aura of predation and desperation that creates.

Firstly, choose your name carefully because it says a lot about you and to a very smart woman it's a code to crack sometimes with ease. Sound intriguing, interesting, friendly but not desperate. Names like 'prayingmantis', 'GFYYSUW', 'puffinbilly' 'nineinches' or 'dopehead' are an instant turn off and she will ignore the rest of your profile and you could have just written, 'loser' or 'idiot'.

You need a recent picture. We all looked better ten years ago. But it's not fair. Never, never pose with a fish you murdered. It's disgusting and it's hard to feel comfortable with a guy who likes to kill things and eat them. That's how serial killers start out. Put sports shots in your profile. You need a clear face shot that does you justice with no hint of criminality evident. No mug shots.

Consider your heading. Every guy says, 'Looking for someone nice.' Try to be original. 'I'm desperate' or 'I'm lonely' are off putting. 'Looking for someone from the same planet' clearly indicates that you are on drugs and have left earth. You are somewhere in the cosmos, hoping someone finds you and likes you. Unlikely to occur. Imagine yourself a woman and what she would like to read. You'll probably still get it wrong.

It is vital that you are honest when it comes to religion, smoking and drug use. Don't call yourself a Buddhist if you have declared someone your enemy because as soon as you meet it will be obvious that you are bitter and twisted and do not have the care and compassion that excludes no one which is central to Buddhism. Sort out your issues with someone personally, don't dump them on her and expose your faith as phony.

If you smoke admit it. Some of us can't stand it. Crucially, if you use or have used drugs, don't lie about it. It is one of the biggest and vilest deceptions you could pull because she will find out and may sue you. It's misrepresentation. It's a damn lie. I've been put through it and it's sickening.

Have some interesting interests, not 'fishing' or 'laughing at stupid things'. If you don't play a sport well, then you are off to a bad start because every woman on the globe likes athleticism. 'Politics' is boring. 'Culture' and 'the Arts' are nice, but only if you are really into them. Don't say that you are into 'Art house films' because you are not even calling it by the right name and a couple of sentences from her will floor you.

Don't try to portray yourself as more intelligent or interesting than you actually are because you can't maintain the façade ,especially if she is intelligent and interesting. Don't call yourself 'caring' if your favourite topic is how much you hate someone.

Do not whinge or whine. It is as appealing as a shrieking cat. Don't go on about how bad your ex is and come up with colourful stories about how she harmed you psychologically and you were completely innocent and did or said nothing cruel to her. That's not how life is lived and relationships play out and women know that.

If you have children that can be a draw back especially if they have problems and you don't have a good relationship with them. It screams relationship retardation.

It's hard to meet someone. It's hard to like someone. It's hard to fall in love. It's hard to stay in love. Your chances of that happening are finite. But, if does, don't blow it.

'Love is a battlefield'
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