... a dreamer, freelance writer, massage therapist, naturopath, mother & drop-out social work student living, working and writing in the Blue Mountains. When not occupied with the real world, she writes fantasy.
Published October 31st 2012
WARNING: Some may find this article offensive and sexist
Recently busted up with your boyfriend or girlfriend? Before you get out the tissues and resign yourself to a diet of Jennifer Aniston DVDs, let me tell you, far from being over, your life is about to start.
Horribly, the Grass is Greener on the Other Side syndrome means there's a tendency for couples to envy singles and vice versa. The reality is there are advantages to being in either camp.
In the interests of shifting the mind-set for singles and their status in society, I've compiled the below list of reasons to rejoice in being single.
Life constantly changes, ebbs and flows and throws up surprises. Then it ends abruptly. Go live, flourish and sail the seven seas thy singles!
40 Reasons Why Being Single Rocks
1. There's still a chance to meet Mr or Ms Right. For committed couples, that opportunity is sadly lost.
2. Anyone who has lived long and hard enough knows, the grass isn't always greener on the other side. In fact, when you get to that paddock it's generally brown or cacky yellow, filled with weeds, rock or mud. That's life. Why pine after what isn't real?
3. You're an individual. You're also more independent, which is preferable to being at the mercy of an imperfect person.
4. You still have a chance to get with Scarlett Johannson, Robert Pattinson or Portia de Rossi - depending on what tickles your turkey.
5. You don't have to wash up anyone else's dishes or clean up their mess. Oh yeah!
6. You can make your own decisions without consulting the 'other'. Go with the purple shagpile carpet without challenge.
7. There's no one at home to fight with. Groovy!
8. You can flirt without guilt.
9. Jesus and Mother Theresa were single, which puts you immediately in the 'A' list of human beings. In essence, you have more time to help others than those tied up couples and families.
10 You have the bed to yourself. Hallelujah!
11. You don't have to put up with anyone's snoring or their 'out of sync to yours' body clock.
12. You have more time to yourself. Hell yeah!! Get out that guitar or the tennis racket you never had time for when you were 'involved'.
13. You have more time to achieve your important life goals. Volunteer in Africa or finish your degree with no 'significant other' sucking up your spare time. Life and all it's doors are more open to you than those poor couples.
14. No more opening the cupboard to find the last bit of chocolate gone. What a blessing.
15. No more compromising because you have a partner. No more justifying yourself either.
16. No-one to tell you what to do (with the exception of the boss at work). Browse the net for ten hours if you like without being nagged.
17. Wear what you want. Hooroo, the comfy stubbies, fluffy slippers and koala bear tank top are back.
18. According to the statistics, over 50% of marriages are unhappy. Why be one of them?
19. If you are female, you are statistically more likely to live longer being single. Now if that ain't an advertisement for being single, don't know what is. Being in an unhappy marriage can increase your chances of getting sick by roughly 35% and shorten your life by an average of four years.
20. If you have children from a previous relationship, you don't have to worry about how they will get on with your new partner.
21. With 19 percent of women and 23 percent of men reporting cheating on their partner (stats depend on what study you read), being single spares you the angst of betrayal by the person supposedly closest to you.
22. If you are female you are less likely to be murdered or assaulted by your partner. Without a partner, domestic violence isn't on the agenda.
23. If you're a man, you can't lose half your assets to a woman since you don't have one of those money-sucking devices in the first place. NB. This can also apply to women as well as men.
24. No in-laws to endure. There's also no-one else's offspring to put up with. Multiple benefits.
25. You don't have to answer to anyone. No worrying about when they're coming home. Neither do you have to justify where you are. Less worries all round.
26. More time with your friends and family. In fact, relationships with others become deeper and more important when one is single. More party invites coming your way too.
27. Sleep in whenever you want. Go to bed when you want. What luxury.
28. Listen to your own music, not theirs.
29. For females - less time to worry about all that primping and preening, shaving, hair removal, dressing up and make-up crap.
30. Be as spiritual as you like.
31. You have complete control over your money and how you spend it. Holidays here we come.
32. You can go on holidays when you want (not when it fits in with their work or kids holidays or menstrual cycle).
33. You are master and ruler of the remote.
34. No worrying about someone else and their troubles with their family, kids, work, health and the strange hair growing out of their neck.
35. You can sleep in daggy but comfy PJ's. Bliss.
36. No more wasted time waiting for texts or calls or replying to them.
37. You no longer have to endure mind games, insults, sarcasm, abuse, put-downs, jealousy, annoying mood swings, grumpiness or the silent wall treatment. Significant others are the main source of these highly unpleasant behaviours.
38. There is the opportunity to discover who you are and what you want. What freedom.
39. You don't have to cook for anyone. More time for meaningful pursuits.
40. For men - you no longer have to shave for them or adjust the toilet seat or share the wardrobe with their massive amounts of clothes, nor go shopping with them. What relief.
41. Okay, so I said there were 40 reasons, but I had to squeeze this one out. You can fart when you want to. Phew!
Enjoy your single life (while it lasts) knowing the grass isn't greener on the other side.
As this list demonstrates - it is only worth giving up all the advantages above for the RIGHT person.
I spent too much of the best years of my life being single and not really enjoying it. It's a selfish lifestyle.
We are wired to have a partner, and having no partner when you're old, really sucks.
I found the love of my life when I was 41, and she was 39. We've been together for 22 yrs, and we're still happy, and still enjoy each others company.
Yes, there's been ups and down, but nothing that respect, love, caring and forgiveness can't fix.
In our early 60's, we have numerous friends around our age and slightly older, who have split up and live alone.
Only a small % of them are happy with being alone in their retirement, and many are actually envious of us.
Unfortunately, you have to work hard at finding and keeping a partner, but the end result is worthwhile, I can assure you.
Spot on Lnda. You didn't mention: no-one to steal the blankets, no-one to complain when you fart in bed, no-one to push you out, no-one to complain about your preference for cooking fresh, organic, in-season vegies
An absolute tongue in cheek article which made me laugh and cringe! Its important to be able to laugh at yourself, how could anyone take offence at this, unless of course they recognise themselves or their relationship in the negative suggestions, well done Linda for having a bit of fun and poking the stick, by the way hope your hubby doesnt subscribe haha!!
I see the comment i submitted hasnt been posted, its a pity your choice of comments all seem positively biased, it seems people who disagree or have alternative opinions have no place on this website. Regards.
A woman after my own heart!! I loved this article and all you say is true - in fact you're saying what many people in a relationship are wishing they had. I have no idea why people think we are wired to have a partner because according to the laws of nature, we only need a mate to procreate. But each to their own of course and hats off to anyone who can live the dynamic of coupledom - I've tried it a few times but square pegs don't fit in round holes no matter how hard you try to jam them in!