You are indeed a mystic, Michaelie. This is the most hilarious and wittily written article I've seen for a long time, possibly ever. You had me laughing throughout, especially at your term "nudie no-no" (I wish I'd thought of it).
I laughed most at your last one - I love the concept of writing letters of complaints sans pants - maybe it's because in the dark, dark past it was my job to answer letters of complaint.
