Top Ten Things to do Naked

by Michaelie Clark (subscribe)

Take away the wool suits and the pencil skirts and you'll find that underneath, we're all nudists. With that in mind, we've created a list of activities that are more fun, practical, liberating, pleasurable and amusing to do with neither a stitch on nor a care in the world. Now, for the sake of those with more delicate sensibilities, we've left out a few of the most obvious activities that are best done naked (watching Question Time, for example), but those aside, here are the top ten things to do nude.



Get Artistic
Well, you've heard of finger painting… now it's time to take it to the next level. Do something imaginative in your natural state, and who knows what artistic creations will come about. It gives a whole new meaning to 'doing nudes'.
Nudie no-no: Craft activities involving glue guns. Or papier mache.

Grow a Bush
If you don't have a green thumb, it's time to see what the rest of your anatomy can do. Get out in the garden, dig in the dirt, combine nature with naturism and see if you can grow a plant worthy of Eden itself.
Nudie no-no: Gardening naked where the postman can see you, unless you have a handy fig tree from which to pluck a leaf. Also avoid thistles, nettles and stinging insects.

Have a Massage
Yes, this is something regularly done in the buff, but instead of getting (literally) uptight about the experience every time there is a brush with the buttocks, go with the flow and make the most of the relaxation.
Nudie no-no: Shopping centre ten-minute massage kiosks, usually located in the open somewhere between a novelty store and a cigar mart.

Eat Something Messy
Add a new dimension to the food experience by savouring something delicious and messy without worrying about spills. Stripping for spaghetti bolognese is a good, practical thing to do. If, on the other hand, you want to move on to more romantic disrobed deeds (and meatballs aren't doing it for you), try chocolate fondue.
Nudie no-no: Cooking in the raw.

Have a Bath
But I rarely bathe clothed!' you say. Well. Have you ever been to a Japanese bath house? Soak away in all your glory in a dedicated sanctum of serenity.
Nudie no-no: Taking your rubber duck.

Be Decadent
Give yourself a facial, moisturise from head to toe, put on your favourite perfume, and lounge about naked with a glass of champers. You'll feel lovely, liberated and slightly eccentric – a good combination.
Nudie no-no: Drinking one glass too many and doing something silly while starkers.

Have a Snooze
Your bed is already dressed; you don't have to be. Keep your jim-jams for winter nights and spend summer sleeping in your skin.
Nudie no-no: Sleeping naked in public (like on the long train journey home from work).

Do Some Exercise
Rejuvenate yourself and get in touch with your body by doing a spot of yoga or pilates without any clothes on.
Nudie no-no: Doing star jumps.

Visit the Beach
Swap your swimsuit for your birthday suit and go romping in the waves at a nude beach like a carefree young nymph.
Nudie no-no: Forgetting the sunscreen.

Write a Letter of Complaint
What better way to get your point across, than to compose a missive sans pants. You may like to try this next time you get a parking fine between the car and the meter.
Nudie no-no: Delivering the letter in person, also sans pants.

So there you have it – ten good reasons to cast under-wires, buckles, belts, neckties and modesty aside. Do you dare to bare?

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Why? Reveal your naked ambition.

When: As often as you can.

Where: Anywhere you won't get arrested.

Cost: Varies for the above activities, however nudism is free in both the liberal and literal senses.