It's 4.30 on a chilly Saturday afternoon and I've been dragged to a place named 'Max Brenner' by an over-enthusiastic friend.
"I can't believe you've never been here", she shrieks in my ear, possibly damaging an ear drum.
It's like an Australian rite of passage!"
Now don't get me wrong, I like chocolate. I like it as much as the next person (as long as the next person isn't Kyle Sandilands or Augustus Gloop). But the sheer thought of a 'Spectacular Choc-Fudge Brownie Sundae' is enough to turn my insides out.
So I play it safe and order the 'Chocolate Pizza'. Hey - I mean I like chocolate and pizza, what's the harm in combining the two? Turns out - plenty.
There's a fine line between a quick snack and pure gluttony, and Max Brenner not only crosses it, but demolishes it, stomping on all in its path like a fat child who never learnt to play nice.
Call me old fashioned, when I think of chocolate, I think of a nice, plain Cadbury's bar. Little did I know that Willy Wonka's evil master plan had been continued long after his death by a creepy looking bald man who I wouldn't want my future kids going anywhere near.
But would I go again? Sure - the Spectacular Choc-Fudge Brownie Sundae at the next table actually looked quite good!