Ekka

Ekka

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Posted 2010-08-08 by Anna Blackfollow

Roll up, folks. It's here again. "What?" you say, "Already? But I only just paid off the loan from last year!" That's right; it's time.

is a strange phenomenon. For me, it's a super-powerful vortex that ensures I buy a ticket every year without fail. Anyway, for those who haven't yet been sucked into the RNA Showgrounds' ever-powerful vacuum, here are some pointers:

1. Finance
ATMs are onsite, but so are queues, so grab some cash beforehand. A month's salary might be excessive, but bring extra for showbags.

2. Couture
High heels = fail. Stilettos aren't hot when they're dragging along a mangled wad of fairy floss.
Bags = fail, unless you have someone to carry them while you're on the rides. Shotgun not me! Otherwise, that dude at the ticket counter might hold it for you.
Scarves = fail, unless you want it chewed by an alpaca, yanked repeatedly by a delightful toddler, or if you want your head ripped off when it gets caught in any one of a million fast-moving ride components. August 5-14 is cold, but so is a body bag.

3. Sideshows
If you think that carnies, ie, carnival folks all have rat tails, phonetically-spelled names, and free-range teeth, think again. They're alchemists with the persuasive skills of a millionaire Alaskan ice salesman, designer underwear peeking over their designer jeans, and a twinkle in both eyes. They also probably rake in more in one night than you do in a week, so don't judge. And don't ask about why you didn't win a supersized toy that looks suspiciously like a licensed character, but definitely isn't and you can't prove anything, or you might end up with ping-pong balls down your throat like a laughing clown. Novelty whistles have a certain charm, okay?

4. Cuisine
Carnival food is notorious for being prohibitively expensive and questionably delicious. But seriously, how often do you get the opportunity to eat a dagwood dog and not look like a huge bogan? Take it while you can. Alternatively, there is also an oyster bar, numerous fruit carts, and myriad tasty gourmet options if you get peckish.

5. Rides
As well as the old favourites, this year's promises some new ones: The Mixer and Hollywood Horrors. Please also consider those minding their business within flinging distance of rides when deciding what and when to eat.

6. Transport
Feel free to drive to the . After that, drive home and park outside your house, because a space can be more difficult to obtain than a giant novelty toy. Take public transport unless you're absolutely off your rocker.

Well, don't say you haven't been warned. And don't forget to check out the animals, fashion parades, and fireworks. Feel free to mention around the water cooler how you won't be going.

See you there.

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%wnbrisbane
197852 - 2023-06-16 04:31:32

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